I through O Links: Home * A-B * C-E * F-H * I-O * P-S * T-Z * the Superman Family * The Batcave * X-Movies * The Super-100 Jump to... I * J * K * L * M * N * O I The Incredibles Originally Reviewed on September 15th 2006 This is the second time I've watched the The Incredibles, and it was even better this time out. The recent trend of viewing a Supers regular life (Recently explored in the sub-par My Super Ex-Girlfriend) has its origins with Stan Lee and the explosion of the Marvel Universe in the 1960s (In particular, with the character of Peter Parker - Spider-Man). So while the Incredibles might not be a wholly fresh venture, it tackles the form with originality and truth. The set-up: Due to some unfortunate incidents, Super Heroes are forced into retirement. This doesn't sit well with Mr. Incredible, who wastes away in his job at an insurance firm and pines for past glories. The voice work done by Craig T. Nelson brings real weight to the character, and the art-while stylized-never fails to bring his emotions and feelings into clarity. Mr. Incredible has a family and this dynamic is plumbed in a realistic manner. He and his wife (Elasti-Girl, voiced by Holly Hunter) cover the whole ball of 'marriage' wax. They love and quarrel and try to raise a normal family. The relationships all ring true. Later, when the evil Syndrome captures Mr. Incredible and a rescue attempt is made. Not a moment is wasted on padding. Each scene expands on the characters and their relationships to each other (good and bad). The deleted scene extras show how the movie was tightened up and improved. It's amazing the amount of forethought and care that went into the development of the story. This wasn't a hashed together, trite production; but one in which every aspect and angle was carefully explored. The care and detail shows in every frame of the film. An example of the power of the work is found in a scene where Mr. Incredible breaks into Syndrome's database, and scrolls through a list of murdered Heroes. The effect is heartfelt and heartbreaking. There's a lot of good in this movie: The supporting players (Edna Mode, Frozone, Mirage) are integral to the story. The screenplay flows nicely and resonates with the full spectrum of the human condition. I also like the addition of the James Bond-like elements. The villain with his secret island hideout and elaborate gadgets, and the wonderful score is pure Bond. The DVD is packed with extras and while some rambled (The bit with the actress who voiced Violet), I strongly recommend watching the cartoon short narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and Craig T. Nelson as Frozone and Incredible. It's hysterical The Invincible Iron Man Originally Reviewed on February 6th 2009 Iron Man is born and the Mandarin returns, sounds pretty straightforward but animated Iron Man winds up a mish mash of several storylines, none of which hold any of interest. First - they play fast and lose with the origin (Rhodey's now there to help during Starks capture and Tony's father is alive). They also throw in a few elementals (they gather up the villains rings), which are drawn from Mandarin's avatars in a classic Len Kaminski comic book tale. It's too bad that they didn't simply adapt the Kaminski issues and ditch the origin (show it in quick montage if need be) because they mangle the hell out of it. With Rhodey involved, Yinsen isn't needed and his death is pointless and loses its emotional impact. Stark's escape is quick and devoid of excitement. Speaking of mangling it - they also toss in some nonsense about Stark as fugitive, a woman and a prophecy. The woman (a member of the terrorist group, the "Jade Dragons") takes center stage in the Iron Man/Mandarin skirmish at the end, making it a real let down (and there aren't 10 rings here. It's 4 - and a flippin bracelet!). Invincible is flat out dull, the animation is stiff, the Elementals move robotically and their battles with Iron Man made me yawn. Voice work is shaky, Marc Worden (Tony) does some poor acting, he lacks personality and he is unable to inject any life into the role (even when he's yelling). Pepper sounds like a cranky English schoolmarm. This is slipshod in all phases. The live action movie got everything right; this gets it all wrong - all terribly, terribly wrong. Iron Man Originally Reviewed on May 3rd 2008 Okay this is my special geek time, so please excuse me if I begin to giggle or clap my hands and gad about in uncontrollable joy. You see, Iron Man was my boyhood comic book hero. He was the Superhero to end all superheroes for me. Other fanboys had experienced the pleasure of seeing their hero on the big screen, now it was my turn. So how did Director Jon Favreau do by my man Tony Stark? Pretty damn good. It's an origin story and it takes its time developing the supporting characters and Stark's history and personality type. But that's fine with me; unlike some fans of this genre, I enjoy origin stories. I like seeing the lead learn how to deal with his new found power. Iron Man sports one of the best casts of any superhero movie. At the top is Robert Downey Jr. He's a lot more snarky than the Stark of the comic books and Downey sometimes oozes that smug, "aren't I just so clever" attitude that can annoy me. But overall I didn't mind this take - he's a spoiled rich guy who is forced to grow up... but he never loses that smart-ass side completely. The arrogance and womanizing and heavy drinking (which played a big part of the comic book and might become so in the movie sequels) are all present. His Stark has a lot of charisma and I was happy with the performance. Joining RDJ is Gwyneth Paltrow, who is perfect as the Pepper Potts, Tony's right hand woman. I absolutely loved her in the part and she clicked beautifully with Downey. The quick sparkling banter between this duo was reminiscent of classic Hollywood couples (ala Tracy & Hepburn) The origin has been updated. While Iron-villain the Mandarin isn't seen nor is his name spoken, there is a baddie who wears a ring and the terrorist cell he heads is known as the "10 Rings" - I.M. fans will understand this as a nod to the 10 deadly rings the comic book version of Mandarin wore. Yinsen is present, though his race has been changed. He helps develop the first armor with Stark while the two are held in captivity by the terrorists. In an action-oriented story packed with laughs, the bond that develops between these men adds a balancing touch of warmth and humanity to the film. Jeff Bridges plays Obidiah Stane, he's pretty good -fatherly and dangerous- though it was obvious where they were going with him. (Of note: Stane didn't enter Tony's life until after, oh about 150 issues of the comic, not a big deal but it is one of several changes made to the timeline). Tony's best friend, Jim Rhodes doesn't make as big an impression as the Potts character, but when he finds Stark wandering in the desert you get a real sense that the two care for one another and the character will probably get more screen time in another film (Will we see the War Machine armor Jim wore in the comics? That would be hella cool). Oh and for us die hards, Director Favreau plays Happy Hogan, who was a big part in Tony's comic book life and it'll be interesting to see if they do anything more with him. All around the table is set nicely. My heart skipped a beat when the first, clunky armor is seen on screen and I had a big wide assed smile throughout the whole movie. There is one major battle at the end as a weakened I.M. tackles the Iron Monger. I'd have rather seen Titanium Man in this flick, he was always my favorite I.M. villain, but hey, the Monger was a big and fearsome foe too. The FX are sharp, I loved seeing Iron Man fly and fire off his weapons. There are light-hearted moments but it doesn’t shirk on the violence (how can you with the subject matter. It isn't bloody but people do die and in one scene when the armored hero takes on a group holding hostages, the violence got a big laugh in the theater). Binding these pieces together is a message about accountability, though that message never gets heavy handed. Oh, and the Samuel L. Jackson cameo as Nick Fury can be found at the end of the credits so you'll have to stick around for it). Overall I loved it, it delivers the right dose of heart, humor and highflying adventure, which propels the movie into my top 10. Iron Man 2 Reviewed on May 9th 2010 Iron Man 2 is rife with subplots, but seems unsure of its primary theme. There's a Senate hearing where we learn that the Government wants to get their hands on Stark's armor (they don't trust him with all that power). There's Vanko/Whiplash who is hell-bent on avenging his father. There's the rivalry with Justin Hammer. The relationship with Rhodes, with Pepper, with his father – There are the problems with the heart, the problems with alcoholism, and the pitfalls of celebrity and ego gone mad. Oh, and S.H.I.E.L.D. is squeezed into the mix as well. All of these subplots fight for center stage – none of them take it - and because of that, they wind up making the movie a meandering (narrative, what narrative?) and thematically unfocused affair. To counter this flaw, IM2 offers several delights. Such as colorful characters brought to life by solid performances: Don Cheadle is a superb actor and is commanding in the role of Stark's best friend Jim Rhodes. His ‘no B.S.’ parting shot to Tony was exactly what you'd expect to hear from the comic book version of the character – and War Machine is as cool on screen as he was in print. Though Scarlett Johansson struggles with wooden delivery (as expected) she is likable as the mysterious Black Widow. I enjoyed Tony's reaction to her, as well as the boxing bit with Happy (it goes without saying that she looks gorgeous in the costume). Sam Rockwell lights up the screen as arms merchant Justin Hammer. The performance is cheesy - that's not a jab at Rockwell because it fits the personality of the character. Hammer is cheesy, he's a wannabe, desperate to be everything Stark is and failing miserably at it. Of course at the top is Robert Downey Jr. who is as flippant and charismatic as ever as Stark. His work is once again note perfect (nuff said). Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts isn't as likable this time out, but she's not supposed to be. At times Tony is the bad guy in this flick and she has a heavy burden to carry, picking up after his messes. Pepper is the heart and humanity in this picture. She's not a superhero, she’s not a super spy... she's us, the common man/woman who finds herself having to deal with the extraordinary. Also - I differ with the critics who felt the middle section of the movie sagged. I liked the character stuff, I especially enjoyed the retro scenes with Howard Stark (played nicely by "Mad Men's" John Slattery). There's something Dinseyesque about the man, and as we soon learn, Howard was a visionary and not the warmonger we supposed. I liked the creation of the new element, because if you think of it, it's Tony collaborating with his father. Howard actually discovered this element but didn't have the means to create it in his era. The device might have been deus ex machina, but what the hell; Tony is a technical wunderkind. As Stane pointed out with the mini arc reactor in the first film... "Tony Stark was able to BUILD one of these in a CAVE! With a box of SCRAPS!" - so while convenient, it's not that much of a stretch (plus I'm a mystery buff and sucker for the unraveling of puzzles). The action/fight sequences are okay. The most impressive was the first confrontation with Whiplash at the racetrack. The others lack sizzle, as there are issues with clarity and/or choreography. In the Widow's fight for example, while she has some great moves; much of it is obscured by quick edits. The final skirmish between metal men is over too quickly (though there is one great gag). As for our villain, I never felt threatened by Whiplash, never worried that Iron Man couldn't handle him – without that tension I’m left with pretty explosions but not much personal investment in whether our heroes will be okay. My fingernails were left intact. Aside from the corny accent, Mickey Rourke does well with the role and exudes a quiet menace. Unfortunately, there's not much depth in the character, and he disappears for a portion of the movie. I should also point out a plus for long time IM fans: The various Easter eggs. Bambi? Ha, ha - in writer David Michelinie's run on the comic book, Mrs. "Bambi" Arbogast was Tony's secretary. And the lawyer Bert, Pepper was talking to on the phone? That was Bert Hindle, also a character (probably forgotten these days) from the comics. In addition to that, look closely at the monitors at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters at the end. The news is covering the Hulk's antics at the University as seen in the green goliath's 2008 movie (and there are other items of note in that scene). All told IM2 doesn't come close to being as good as the first. On purely cinematic terms IM1 is superior thematically and in narrative. But if I move away from the giant shadow cast by the original and judge IM2 on its merits alone, it a perfectly enjoyable superhero movie. Far too busy- but never the less, it's an entertaining venture with drama, laughs and action aplenty. Inspector Gadget Reviewed on March 9th 2009 The Mask showed how hyper can be done well. Gadget? While it does offer a lot of color, cartoon special effects and a dog (It even has a dream sequence that ends with a pooch licking the face of the dreamer). What it doesn't provide is "fun". This movie is non-stop, headache inducing chaos, riddled with humor that is humorless. The cast includes Joely Fisher, who had a small part in the Mask, a bigger one here playing the scientist who turns a critically injured security guard (Matthew Broderick) into the crime-fighting hero of a thousand gizmo's... think of him as a kid friendly Robocop. Neither performer impressed me. Rupert Everett as the insidious Dr. Claw and D.L. Hughley (the voice of the Gagdetmobile) are both as irritating as a rash. Dabney Coleman, Andy Dick... none of the actors do anything to turn this toad into a Prince and in truth their performances only add to my suffering. A young Michelle Trachtenberg was the only one who didn't completely bug the ever loving' hell out of me. David Kellogg's previous directorial efforts include a bevy of video centerfolds for Playboy, which made him a natural to helm a picture for Disney (sarcasm intended). The screenplay is too idiotic to overcome. It's based on a children's cartoon, but there's a few instances of sexual innuendo and cheap punch lines (as when the Inspector grabs a guys nuts and sends him to the hospital). I've seen plenty of kid friendly films that weren't as juvenile as this (say, "Bolt" to name one) and didn't equate kid-fare with lowered intelligence. Inspector Gadget is an obnoxious mess, an inferior crime-fighting cousin to The Mask that fails because it's nonstop noise and nothing else. I put off watching this for years; I wasn't missing a thing, as this is one of the worst films in this marathon. Back to top of page J Judge Dredd Originally Reviewed: October 9th 2007 Set in a future where cops act as judge, jury and executioner, Judge Dredd was the most successful comic book series in Britain. More sci-fi than super hero, this still shows off more of those super hero elements than The Punisher films (reviewed earlier) did. So I went ahead and watched it as part of the marathon. My favorite thing about Dredd was the art, especially during Brian Bolland's run. The man was a master of the medium. His line work, composition and attention to detail were striking. The main reason I read Dredd was because of Bolland and when this film opens with different covers from the series (many by Bolland) I had hoped for a respectful adaptation. I knew it wouldn't be faithful, but I'd hoped it would stay close. And it does give us Chief Justice Fargo (Max Von Sydow) Rico (Armand Assante), the Angel gang, Mean Machine and even an ABC Warrior (Hammerstein). But it violates so much that had become canon: Primarily, that in the entire series Dredd took his helmet off twice, and then we were never shown his true face. Now I knew with Sylvester Stallone as the star this was never going to happen. But at least at the start of the movie he does wear it often (and looks great in it). By the end that pretense goes in the toilet. I also knew that with Diane Lane in the cast as Judge Hershey, they'd force a romantic angle (even though it was forbidden for Judges to engage in such relationships, and the two never hooked up in the comic) I did enjoy this film a lot in the first half. The sets reminded me of Total Recall and fit this authoritarian universe nicely. The FX were outstanding, the costumes were sharp. It looked real good even if they got a few things wrong. In the second half though it just becomes a standard Stallone action film. I mean, I could have been watching Demolition Man for all I knew. As the mood and tone of the flick distanced itself further from the source material, with its romance, soapy introspection and abandonment of the uniform, it stopped being about Judge Dredd and the world he inhabited. Another wrong turn was in casting Rob Schneider. Lord how annoying and untalented this man is. I mentioned Clint Howard in Barb Wire and how he can make even a bad movie worth a watch. Well Rob is the anti-Clint, he brings down anything he's in. From the moment I saw him I knew the comics comedic irony would be lost, replaced by unsubtle, smart-ass one liners and quips. I wish they hadn't gone with the Rico storyline; perhaps going with Judge Death instead would have kept the film in focus on the core character from start to finish. Hell, I wish the movie were made without the Hollywood movie stars - played by an unknown. And most of all, I wish Joe would have kept his damned helmet on! Judex (1919 Serial) Originally Reviewed on April 12th 2006 Released in 1919 Judex is a 12 part serial created by pioneering French filmmaker Louis Feuillade and it concerns a man who seeks revenge upon the banker who set his family into ruination. His plans though, are derailed when he falls for the man's daughter. Aside from this plot are several story threads, most of which concern the conniving Diana Monti who orchestrates kidnappings, assassination attempts and various other nasty doings, all the while manipulating any male sap with her feminine wiles. Aiding our hero is a silly detective and an annoying street urchin named the Licorice Kid. The attempts at humor with these two are dated and come nowhere near to aging as well as the classic comedic antics of a Keaton or Lloyd. Aside from this and the plot contrivances and some overdone melodrama, Judex is a quite good. Predating Batman by several years, this caped crusader conducts business in his castle lair aided by his faithful brother (a kind of combination of Alfred and Robin). And while he doesn't wear a mask (which makes me laugh when Diana Monti vows to "unmask" Judex) he does use several high tech (for that era) gadgets, is a master of disguise and is highly moral. Which Contrasts nicely with the villains who are always tempted by greed and sex and even Judex's own mother is at first blindly hell bent on vengeance. Unlike modern super hero flicks there are few fisticuffs, but like Batman, this hero utilizes brains to solve his cases (Though considering some of those plot contrivances I mentioned. Judex doesn't always come off as the sharpest knife in the drawer) Director Feuillade's camera work is mostly stationary, but the framing and use of picturesque locations are stellar. Though the film runs over 5 hours, it goes by quickly and kept my interest throughout. For the most part the actors are distinct, which helped with such a large cast. Aside from a few rough patches I'd highly recommend this series. Judex (1963) Originally Reviewed on July 8th 2008 Georges Franju is the kind of filmmaker who takes his audience to otherworldly places. Not that that he fills the screen will melting watches and twisted figures, but rather he brings a rich surrealistic atmosphere that is both magical and unsettling. His classic "Eye's Without a Face" is a poetic masterpiece of deliberate, dark ambiance and he captures this same essence with his stunning remake of Louis Feuillade's 1919 French serial, and in doing so, surpasses the source material. Feuillade's original "Judex" is a bit heavy handed with the broad humor, while Franju's version offers a more deadpan approach and I found this made for smoother viewing. The story follows the original closely (Cloaked avenger abducts wicked Banker and squares off with the femme fatale Diana Monti who seeks the Banker's ill gotten gains), but jettison's Judex's mother and brother and the revenge angle they brought. Without it I found I didn't identify on a personal level with the character, nor did the love story between Judex and the Banker's daughter resonate as strongly. The narrative became a bit jagged at the end with the introduction of so many new characters (the street urchin and the acrobat) and yet I was captivated by the texture of the piece and by the performance of Francine Berg, as the villainous Diana Monti. Filmed in black and white, it's amazing that this was released the same year as one of my favorite Bond movies, the slick and modern Goldfinger - because Judex has the appearance of a film made in the 30s or 40s. The look is like that of an old photograph; marked by deep shadows and the slow movement of the camera. The most famous scene is set at a masked ball where Judex enters wearing a large birds-head. He glides and weaves through the crowd holding a dead bird in his outstretched hand. The moment is eerie and dreamlike and the music only adds to the odd feeling in this scene. The man stops, resurrects the dead animal and then performs a magic act from which the only sound heard is the fluttering of bird's wings. This is one of filmdoms most lyrical moments, a work of artistic beauty that has sadly been forgotten over the years. Another great scene has a character skulking through Banker Favraux's mansion, the figure passes by a bust, and standing next to it as deathly still as a statue is the figure of Diana Monti. Francine Berg plays this part with quiet confidence. She is alluring and sexy (which is accentuated by the skin tight cat suit -with dagger strapped to her hip- that she wears in a few scenes). Her cool performance is one of the films highlights. The rest of the actors are solid, though Channing Pollock is rather non descript as Judex, truth be told much of the meatier moments from the original were stripped away and that didn't leave him much to do other than be a mysterious presence. The print I saw was in awful shape, grain, scratches and debris mark the picture and it is in desperate need of repair. The subtitles are fading and at times I could barely make out what was written (thankfully I was familiar with the material). Franju's "Eye's Without A Face" was cleaned up and made a tour through art houses and independent small theaters (I caught it at the wonderful Belcourt in Nashville) and was released to DVD. I hope that Judex (Like the 1919 original) is given the same treatment and that this lost classic receives the attention it deserves. Jumper Originally Reviewed on February 17th 2008 Normally I wait for the DVD before reviewing movies for this marathon. But I felt compelled to add something fresh and new to this thread and so here it goes. Jumper, the story of folks born with the power to teleport- has not been receiving positive critiques and for good reason, the pacing often stalls, the storyline is paper-thin and the acting by the main leads... phew, somebody open a window. Hayden (Anikin Skywalker) Christiansen is a horrid stiff who is appears better by benefit of sharing scenes with Rachel Bilson who is rank and does rank as one of the worst actresses I've ever seen in an A-List Hollywood blockbuster. Despite the films many weaknesses, and they are legion, I still managed to be mildly entertained. Let me address one complaint I've read in a review. It concerns an early scene where Christiansen's David Rice watches TV and news of a disaster is shown. The reviewer complained that a normal person, or your usual super powered person would have done something to help. But this scene for me is one of the films strengths. These "jumpers" are selfish. They do what they want, take what they want and feeding the Id has stunted their growth as well rounded members of society. The film lacks the depth to give this scene more weight and power, but it does indicate that the writers (One of them, David S. Goyer of Batman fame) did put more thought into the script than critics are giving them credit. Jumpers are isolated, self-absorbed and when Rice is attacked by a zealous member of the Paladins, a group who hunt and kill these teleporters (lead by Samuel L. Jackson, sporting silly hair but oozing menace) David simply returns home thinking he's escaped the problem. This lack of foresight puts everyone he loves in danger. Basically it's the old, "with great power come great responsibility" thing, but a clumsy attempt at it. During the moments when the movie tries to lean on the love story, the film drags painfully but awakens once a brother Jumper named Griffin (Jamie Bell, who is another of the movies bright spots along with Jackson) informs Rice of the bigger picture. Bell is angry, doesn't want to be bothered and has a mission he wishes to tackle alone. The sequences where he battles Jackson and later Rice are the movies real highlight. They move too fast, blink and you miss 'em, but it is cool how Griffin bring in a bus in squish Jackson and later in his skirmish with Rice, the two "bamf" from one end of the globe to the other. That was very very awesome. Sadly their aren't enough of these awesome moments and all told the flick is like a jigsaw puzzle, with small sections keeping me entertained while other bits were a bore. I've been told that this was part of a 3-part novel? If that's true it explains some holes (what is Jackson's specific problem with the Jumpers for example) and if this flick doesn't generate enough sales those holes might never be filled. The Junior Defenders (Direct to DVD) Originally Reviewed on April 26th 2008 According to this film the Junior Defenders, which told of the adventures of a group of Super powered kids, was one of the most popular television shows in the 70s. After the series is cancelled (most) of the child actors fall on hard times. After this introduction the film then moves on to tell the tale of an obsessed fan that kidnaps the -now- adult defenders in hopes of filming a new adventure. J.D. is ultra, ultra low budget; it has no polish what so ever. The script is weak and the plot is trite. It shoots for biting satire but fails as I got a total of 2 laughs from it: The first where Kevin Smith (one of many cameos which include Peter Tork and Florence Henderson) talks about how he identified with Psychic Girl, and the other provided by a scene from the TV show where the kids give the "lesson of the week". The grown up Defenders are played by Ally Sheedy and Justin Henry (who played the child in "Kramer vs. Kramer") as well as a guy who played a Power Ranger and an actor from Clerks. Independent film director John Waters acts as the narrator. The film is nowhere near as good as other Indie flicks like "Super Guy", it drags, is very cheap looking and the story isn't funny in the least and the pacing is clunky. The best part of the DVD is the making of extra. It was very interesting to hear how a little guy fought and struggled to see his dream come true. Justice League of America (1997 TV movie) Originally Reviewed on August 14th 2008 I wonder what was going on in the minds of the studio heads when they decided to film this television pilot. Was it their, or the filmmakers intent to make a movie about the Justice League, without it being about the Justice League? That's not to say that this movie is not without its charms. It takes a documentary style approach to telling of the adventures of a group of heroes who are simply average Joes like you or I. They work jobs where they're not appreciated, get evicted from homes and struggle with relationships. There's a pleasant enough movie here, it's simply not about the JLA. The Justice League is about DCs finest banded together against global threats that can't be handled by a lone hero. Check out the brilliant JLU animated series to see the concept done right. In this version there is no Superman, no Batman or Wonder Woman. In this version the team is located in one area (New Metro) and the heroes? Barry Allen (the Flash) is transformed from a smart as a whip scientist to an unemployed lunk head. The Atom is a nerdy teacher who saves cats when a crisis arises. And Guy Gardner's Green Lantern looks more like Kyle Rayner and uses his ring to create things like a (regular sized) umbrella, and stands by helpless when a tidal wave approaches (In the comics Lantern has tackled and held back bigger threats). On the acting front David Ogden Stiers plays a heavyset Martian Manhunter as thoughtful father figure who has banded these misfits into a team. As for his girth, there was a bit in the original script about his love for Oreo's, which was cut and so we are left wondering how the green guy got so fat. Miguel Ferrer (as the head of a laboratory) and David Krumholtz (as the love interest?) weigh in with their talents. Joining Lantern, Flash and Atom are Fire and, in an origin story tie in, Ice. Most are rather non-descript, though Ice and Atom play off one another well. There are also some nice bits of cute humor. I got a chuckle at Ice's response when asked if she'd met an alien before. The costumes are colorful though the displays of power are limited. Despite some plot holes and a lame-O villain (The Weatherman who can control the, uh, weather) It's not a bad superhero flick, it is -on the other hand- a bad, BAD Justice League adaptation and I wonder what they were thinking when they decided to go in this direction. The cynic in me laments that the titled and a few name characters were used simply to cash in on the popularity of the franchise. I guess a movie called "The B Team" stocked with no name heroes like "Captain Ring-O" would have been a tougher sell - and yet - that would have been a more accurate title. Justice League: The New Frontier Originally Reviewed on January 1st 2009 Attempting to squeeze Darwyn Cooke's epic story into a modest 70-minute film must have been a huge challenge, and while they do lose a few threads, for the most part this film succeeds. The comic offered the foundation for several great scenes, which the filmmakers augment with top-notch voice work and cool retro style animation. This isn't a linear tale; it doesn't flow with an even plot driven story. It is instead a series of interesting character studies and interaction that all lead to the heroes uniting against a floating Gamera looking deal called "The Centre". It's also intended for a more mature audience (there is a suicide and a war time shooting in the first 6 minutes). This is the Justice League before they became the Justice League. Primarily though, it's a Green Lantern story with the Flash and a couple of the other leaguers added in here and there. That's not a bad thing; Supes and the Bat have been featured players in many a series and film, so having Barry Allen and especially Hal Jordan (still the greatest Lantern) shine in the limelight is quite all right with me. The voice work by Neil Patrick Harris (Flash) and David Boreanaz (Lantern) fits both characters. In fact the sturdy Boreanaz would make a wonderful live action Hal Jordan. Aside from these two I like the scenes with Martian Manhunter (Miguel Ferrrer) and Batman. Even though he's a bit player, Batman looks way cool and while I miss Kevin Conroy, Jeremy Sisto does well in the role, he sounds a bit like Thomas Hayden Church. I loved the Indo-China sequence between Wonder Woman (Lucy Lawless perfectly cast) and Superman (Kyle MacLachlan, commanding with a level of warmth). Diana is in full Amazon mode; she towers over the Kryptonian and is quite the bad ass. Supporting characters are well done too. Brooke Shield's is excellent voicing the confident Carol Ferris. There are cameos with Ted "Wildcat" Grant boxing on TV, Mademoiselle Marie in her red beret and the founder of the Doom Patrol, Larry Trainor aiding in the final battle. The screenplay improves on the books version of the death of King Faraday and there are a few moments unique to the film (including Batman in the final battle was the right choice). The animation is wonderful - painterly, with deep shadows, period piece designs and smooth movement of the characters (though the end fight does expose some rougher, cartoony work). I watched the single disc edition and can't speak to the quality of the features on the second disc. But this one includes a great 40-minute documentary on the history of the JLA. In summary, this is a very well made, thought provoking film. While there are cuts they do well in keeping the heart of the source material intact (though I'd strongly suggest checking out those graphic novels) Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths Originally Reviewed on February 23rd 2010 Plot, what plot? This is an adrenaline pumping thrill ride. Heavy with rock 'em sock 'em action but woefully thin on character development. It does offer some existentialist examinations and a wee love story (but don't worry action fans, it doesn't overdo the mushy stuff) but it's mostly about the punching and the throwing and the big ka-booms. On occasion, writer Dwayne McDuffie stops to let us catch our breaths and to offer a few obligatory looks at the story -- then it's off to the races, ‘er fights again! And it pretty much repeats that cycle like clockwork throughout. What you got here is Lex Luthor from an alternative reality, coming to our world to draft the Justice League into returning with him to battle their evil counterparts -the Crime Syndicate- who are the power on their Earth. Now, I know nothing of this syndicate: I don't know why Ultra Man wears eyeliner or sounds like your stereotypical Italian mod boss, I don't know the back story on Superwoman and Owlman's relationship – and aside from the basics, the movie does nothing to fill me in. For some folks this wont matter, but it does bear mentioning. Don't expect much meat with these potatoes. The film does serve up a tasty desert in the way of cameos (and uses them more wisely than "Public Enemies" did). How cool was it to see the counterparts to Halo (from the old Outsiders team) Black Lightning and Jimmy Olson. And how great to have Firestorm (in his animated film debut), Red Tornado and Black Canary involved as well. This was originally planned as a 3-part JLU episode and it has that series vibe to it in regards to the geek factor in seeing so many heroes and villains together in one story. Voices run the gamut – James Woods steals the show as the chilly Owlman. The guy’s a lunatic, but so cool and calculated – that impassive voice in context to what he’s planning is downright creepy. William Baldwin on the other hand is a terrible Batman, his vocals are thin and there’s a discernable lack of quiet authority in it. While Chris Noth (Lex Luthor) is bland and -apart from greeting the JLA in his birthday suit- has little personality. Positive: Josh Keaton (Flash - who provides most of the humor), Gina Torres (Superwoman) and Vanessa Marshal (Wonder Woman). Negatives: Mark Harmon makes for a flat Super Man. Artwork is clean and very colorful. I especially dug the Manhunter design and the Flash's reds popped out nicely. The composition, backgrounds, buildings etc, are effective. Fights were well staged, though by the finish I was exhausted by them. There's one dark turn at the end that I liked, and the bit with Wonder Woman and the invisible plane was cute (a response to nit pickers complaints about the need for such a thing). The confrontation between Bat and Owlman was strong as was the fight between Wonder Woman and her counterpart (Superwoman might be powerful but she doesn't have WWs technique - which is effectively displayed). But the way the Syndicate was beaten was unconvincing (really, that's all it took? These people wiped out all the heroes and had the world shaking in their boots... but this is all you had to do to break them up? I know we were told they feared nuclear reprisal, but that felt contrived from the start). Overall, while it's superficial in regards to character development, and proves that their is such a thing as 'too much action' - it was colorful, fast paced, funny (watch where Flash runs too at the end), and entertaining. Better than the feature was the Spectre Showcase short. It’s a pulp mystery with horror elements and the art on this was amazing; they really nailed the look and eeriness of the figure. That sweeping cape, the line work and shadow are impeccable. And Gary Cole's vocals are a dream (He’d have been a much better voice for Batman in the feature as well). My only compliant is that they made the piece out to be like a rediscovered old movie from the 70s. Spots and scratches and lines riddle the screen. That’s okay in short quantities, but doing it for the entire movie was a colossal mistake – The animators got too cute for their own good, and I hope this isn’t the approach they will be taking with future Showcases. Never the less, it’s not enough the ruin a great little film. And I’d love to see this group work on a longer Spectre story. As to the Blu-ray picture itself? Overall very sharp, the lines are crisp and the colors vibrant. Extras: a couple of Justice League episodes (that I already own), the pilots for TVs live action Wonder Woman and Aquaman. A couple of ads for older releases and a preview of their next film "Batman: Under the Red Hood. There was no commentary track (bummer) and only one feature: Where DCs big guns make excuses for why their comics got so bleak and nasty and ugly (the rape and murder of Sue Dibny among them). I'm pretty sick and tired of DC and Marvel using the "post 9-11" argument. Maybe y'all need to watch "Sullivan’s Travels" and be reminded that people also need relief from their troubles, and thet they often find that in their entertainment (New Orleans Saints anyone?) I'd rather they dumped this and offered a "backstory/making of" featurette. Justice League: Doom Originally Reviewed on February 28th 2012 The 13th entry in the DC Universe film is a disappointment. Made sadder by the fact that this was the late Dwayne McDuffie's final script. Loosely based on Mark Waid's "JLA: Tower of Babel", the film offers up some wonderful voice talent (Kevin Conroy, Tim Daly, Nathan Fillion) but the good stuff begins and ends there. The plot is anchored by a neat idea where the leagues major villains use a 'JLA neutralizing plan' devised by Batman himself, to take the heroes out of the game so that Vandal Savage can set his diabolical world ruling scheme into motion. But that neat idea rarely blooms into something great. There's little weight or feeling of serious threat to our leaguers. For example, you know -and the villains should know- that leaving Batman alive is going to come back to bite them. The problem is that the script is wafer thin. Waid's premise is funneled down to a series of fights and little else. After a while I grew numb with indifference towards them. There's no dramatic impact, no emotional punch in this movie. Even bringing Cyborg in as a wild card failed to generate much excitement, as he was used primarily as a deus ex-machina. In total: There's great voice work, and McDuffie wrote some sharp dialog - but it's undone by an anemic story, little depth in characterization and art not up to snuff (and wow, were Superman's strange girlish eyes were disturbing). Back to top of page K K-20: The Fiend with Twenty Faces Reviewed on March 28th 2011 Set in an alternative reality where WWII was avoided and Japan's ‘Nobility’ system continues (which creates a divide between upper and lower classes). From this society emerges the super criminal K-20 - a master of disguise who has his eyes on a device invented by Nicola Tesla, which could help him rule the world. Hoping to retire and quietly continue his search for Tesla's gigantic energy machine, K-20 sets up an acrobat at the circus (named Endo) to take the fall for his crimes. But the acrobat escapes the police, and using his own skills and those of a group of thieves, the wronged man goes on a quest to clear his name and take down the real K-20 in the process. Director Shimako Sato introduces social issues into his story, we see the lower class, parentless orphans and what not – but he doesn't dwell or get too morose with such grave matters - and primarily has his tongue firmly in cheek. He mixes pulp adventures with manga and creates a film that's a lot of fun... if you don't take it too seriously. The action scenes are over-the-top unreal, there's a dash of melodrama, romance and humor. And plot twists and turns a plenty, all of which leads to a thoroughly satisfying finish. The look of the film is a collision of old and new worlds -- as seen in the computer with a typewriter keys and old fashioned dials. There are big sets and decent-enough CGI to facilitate the fantastic. Acting-wise: The performers all do a good job creating likable and interesting characters, there's a lot of chemistry and solid interaction on screen. I especially enjoyed the master thief who aids Endo in his quest. The story moves at a good pace and while I had to forgive some lapses in logic, I found it all told - an enjoyable nights entertainment. Kalimán in the Sinister World of Humanon Reviewed on April 6th 2009 Kalimán: Women want to be with him, men want to be him! That old adage fits this character. The superhero was huge in Mexico, the subject of comic books and a radio show that was as popular as the Shadow's was in the States. He's a very philosophical, peace loving man who uses his brains and heart as well as brawn in his capers. He's Kwai Chang Cain before there was a Cain. The film Netflix offers isn't the first movie (as advertised) but rather its sequel. I've heard good things about the first; the second though, is a lesser entity. Smiling Jeff Cooper (best known for his role in the TV series Dallas) plays the hero who comes to Rio accompanied by his young sidekick, Solin, to take part in a conference hosted by the congress of psychology. He soon finds out that a brilliant professor he'd hoped to meet was beheaded. Local thought is that it was a witch who stole the professor noggin. And that sets our story in motion. Kalimán, who wears nothing other than variations on his white costume, headdress, brown boots and red cape, becomes embroiled in the mystery... but before he does he makes a brief stop to visit Jesus and offer a few words of wisdom. He, He - This was a really funny scene, you get the jaunty driving music, a cut to the Jesus scene, then cut back to jaunty driving music. From this point on I had a good feeling. I might not being watching a great movie but I had hope that it could be fun one. Fun? Not always. The pacing of the flick is sluggish, there's too much exposition and it farts around a lot with lingering or repetitive shots. But there are unintended laughs (a guy falls from a building and his head explodes * the 'zombie-tronics' that growl like lions). Plus we get a gal in short black dress and go-go boots, who covers her face for reasons that will soon be revealed. And the stiff limbed Cooper strikes some cute poses when he fights. All of that is seen in just in the first half hour. We haven't even gotten to the shrill frizzy haired sergeant and the evil leader Humanon. Who wears a red dunce cap hood, black shades, some gigantic bling around his neck and has a tiny companion named Miss Alva. The final half of the movie sees Kaliman wandering the jungle, acting as a junior Marlin Perkin's for Solin, as he works out how to upset Humanon's diabolical plan to turn people into mutant zombie beasts. All told a bad, too talky movie with elements of the harebrained that were nonetheless entertaining. To quote Kaliman, "This is some crazy stuff". Kekko Kamen New Originally Reviewed on January 11th 2008 There are fans of the flick, who seem to have oodles of fun with this character. Hmmm, I don't get it. Oh I get that it's a parody of the Japanese art style known as hentai, and the stories all concern girls at a particular school (here it's a broadcasting academy) who suffer through all types of torture at the hands of their perverted teachers. I just don't get how this is supposed to be enjoyable? Anyway -- When a girl screams loud enough, Kekko comes to save the day. And Kekko's costume? Well it consists of boots, a mask with funny looking ears and a scarf. That's it. The rest of her is all nekid, nude... which is part of the joke, because I guess I'm suppose to laugh when she delivers her killer -crotch on the head- blow (which sounds funnier than it is). Despite the proliferation of skin, this is neither sexy nor alluring. In fact it made me feel like I needed to take a bath afterwards. I'm no prude; I like naked nudity as much as the next guy. But even as parody Kamen bothered me. Sexual torture, presented as silly camp or otherwise, simply isn't very funny to me. I didn't laugh, it made me squirm and feel icky and I was begging for the movie to hurry up and end. So much so that I turned it off after a while. I just couldn't stomach any more. There are huge fans of this character. I don't get them any more than they'll get me. This movie sucked on toast and I quickly deleted the hold on another in this series from my Que. Maybe I'm being a tightass but an hour of this crap was an hour too much. Super F grade! Kick-Ass Originally Reviewed on April 17th 2010 After reading advanced reviews, I expected a bloodbath unlike anything seen in the annals of film. And while there's no doubt that it pushes the limits of taste, in truth there is nothing here that's any bloodier or more outrageously violent than what I saw in Punisher: War Zone. The only difference is that an 11-year-old girl perpetrates a lot of the mayhem, and she does so without remorse. I can understand how that would disturb some folks. And yet, aside from a beating inflicted upon this youngin' at the end, It didn't upset me to the point where I couldn't enjoy the visceral thrill of it all.* Kick-Ass is both a satire and a love letter -it manages to mock as well as celebrate the genre. Among the several comic book Easter eggs, we get nods to Spider-Man in the intro and TVs Batman, though Nic Cages vocal-riffing on Adam West. Among the deconstructions is the 'youthful sidekick' shtick seen in many titles. Batman & Robin? In the real world, Bruce Wayne would be viewed as a nutcase for dragging young boys out at all hours of the night to battle vicious psychopaths. (There have been several Robins. The current one, Damian, is 10 years old) The films premise hinges on the question of why real folks don't dress up and fight crime. The High-Schooler who ponders this matter is Dave Lizewski, an unremarkable kid who has suffered a few muggings, and decides to do something about it. Dave orders a wetsuit on line, dubs himself 'Kick-Ass' and sets out to shake up the status quo. He gets more than he bargained for when he discovers that being a superhero hurts... a lot. He persists though, is caught on camera during one of his acts of heroism and becomes a Youtube sensation. I thought actor Aaron Johnson was outstanding in the role. He believably captured the angst of a teenager searching for self-esteem, without making him self-pitying (nor does Director Vaughn dwell on such things). In his early scenes, the way he interacted with his friends and pined for the girl of his dreams felt genuine and still offered up plenty of laughs. The action doesn't really throttle into weird until we are introduced to the out of costume Hit Girl and Big Daddy, we watch as pops talks his daughter into letting him shoot her at close range. The scene is hilariously screwy and sums up the relationship in a nutshell. While Kick-Ass bumbles through his adventures, these two are the real deal. Nicholas Cage –who floundered in his previous superflick, Ghost Rider- is actually very good as the off kilter Big Daddy. And Chloe Moretz is a revelation as the pint size assassin, Hit Girl (she gets the best music too. The Dickies and Joan Jett blare as she cuts a bloody swath through armies of the toughs). This spitfire has such a strong screen presences that she steals every scene she's in, and that’s no small feat considering this rock solid cast. Father and daughter bond over weaponry and Cage draws comic book representations of their targets… later turned into a nice animated sequence that reveals their origins. The action focusing on them is quick, over the top and well choreographed. Soon, their paths cross with Kick-Ass in a way that shocks the hell out of Dave and opens his eyes to the stakes involved in this career path. Every hero needs a villain and this one comes in the guise of your garden-variety mobster. These thugs are the ones who drove Big Daddy to madness and vengeance. Christopher Mintz Plasse plays the son of the head goon. He tries to gain his father's approval by getting into costume as well, as the Red Mist. Using his son's connections, Mob Boss (Mark Strong) sets out to make an example of these interfering heroes on a national broadcast. This leads to the nasty and blistering big finish. "Kick-Ass" is morally twisted and perverse (the bit with the microwave, for example). But that often leads to laughs. It also strikes a balance by showing some heart. Despite the hype, it doesn't really break new ground. Tarantino staged crazier and bloodier battles in "Kill Bill" (Director Matthew Vaughn doesn't escalate each fight to newer, wilder levels the way Tarantino did – so there is a sameness by the end - thought the final shot is a crowd pleaser). I've also seen the 'regular Joe as superhero' thing done in the past (most recently in "Defendor"). Never the less, Kick-Ass lives up to its name. It's colorful, funny and gave me an exhilarating high. The performances, script and direction are praiseworthy and make this one of the best superhero movies I've seen in this marathon. * = That might sound like a double standard but it's not, I was uncomfortable watching the punishment inflected upon Dave and Big Daddy as well. I've always struggled with seeing the hero take a beating, whether it be Peter Parker with his bruised, bloodied and battered face in Spider-Man or Elektra being cut and stabbed in the pages of Daredevil. That it's a little girl being punched by an adult adds to the 'wince factor', I admit - but it all hurts. As for the villains? Nah, they deserve what they get. Lol Kriminal Reviwed on March 1st 2009 Diabolik was the "Genius of Crime", Kriminal was known as the "Genius of Evil". While the character was created after Diabolik, it was the first to make it to the big screen. Highlighted by a smooth jazzy score by Roberto Pregadio & Romano Mussolini, with proficient direction by Umberto Lenzi. It's not as slick as Diabolik, but the cinematography is bright and clean, and it moves quickly with a story that twists and turns over a scheme to steal a fortune in diamonds. Glenn Saxson looks good as the lead, he doesn't wear his classic yellow skeleton suit a lot, but when he does it doesn't come off looking as silly as I would have imagined. He's not as skilled a schemer as Diabolik. In his cat and mouse game with Inspector Morris of Scotland Yard, he loses and much as he wins. In fact -SPOILER ALERT- Kriminal not only fails to acquire the jewels but also is apprehended at the end (as seen in cartoon panels). Kriminal was considered more sadistic than Diabolik (though in later tales he softens up and does heroic deeds), and while we see him do some nasty, cruel things, such as the attempt to blow up his ex-wife, the steam bath death of Lady Gold and putting acid in the shaving cream can of his criminal opposite Alex; he somehow doesn't come off as vicious as he was in the fumetti. All told, while it doesn't match Diabolik's cinematic highs, it's still entertaining as all get out. (A subtitled copy of Kriminal can be found at www.cinema-de-bizzare.com. I have yet to find the sequel "Il marchio de Kriminal" with English subtitles) Krrish Originally Reviwed on September 16th 2006 Before I viewed this movie, I did some research on the recent boom of film that is being tagged, Bollywood: I learned that these movies have a lot of humor, a lot of melodrama, a lot of romance... and for some reason, out of the blue, a music video breaks out from time to time. I tried to keep all this in mind and judge the movie within this established frame. First off all, lets get the basics out of the way. Krrish is a sequel to Kol Mil Gaya, which is not about a superhero, but is rather an ET style story. Kol tells the tale of an alien who visits earth, befriends a simple man and bestows upon him special powers. In Krrish we learn that this man married and sired a child with amazing abilities. The child, named Krishna, goes to live with his grandmother in a remote village when his parents die in tragic accidents. The movie is nearly 3 hours long and most of this isn't action. American audiences might have trouble with the slow pace and that the romance takes center stage for most of the film. Borrowing liberally from other movies, the plot might seem familiar to many and some of the technical aspects (The rear projection for one) are kind of cheesy. But overall I enjoyed it. As seen with my over-views of the Hulk and Unbreakable, I'm pretty tolerant of character development. I don't mind a nice slow setup as long as I'm interested in the people. Despite some melodrama and the perpetual grin of the lead actor, I liked these folks and wanted to learn more. And by the time we get to the donning of the mask, I was fully immersed in knowing the outcome. Rakesh Roshan directs the movie and for the most part he does nice work. The cinematography and colors are beautiful. The production is a family affair as one of his sons is the star, while the other wrote the music. The famed Siu-Tung Ching directed the fight sequences and they are top notch. Part Matrix, part Crouching Tiger. The villain, Dr. Arya, is played wonderfully by award winning actor Naseeruddin Shah. He's charismatic and batshit insane (He speaks to himself in newsbreak form) The sudden music interludes I couldn't get in to. Even while expecting them. It would be like Mary Jane and Peter Parker suddenly breaking into a song and dance routine in that scene where Peter takes out the garbage and talks with MJ. I know it's part of the culture, but it was still weird to me. The lead actress is a bit shrill at times, but what a beautiful woman. Played by Miss World 2000, Priyanka Chopra; you can understand why Krishna falls head over heels. BTW, Priyanka is rumored to be considered for the role of Wonder Woman and she definitely looks the part. Krrish wont be for all tastes, but it is well told, well directed with loads of cool stunts and wirework Back to top of page L Lastikman Originally Reviewed on March 2nd 2008 I would have loved to review this movie in full, but I'm hampered by the fact that the Netflix DVD doesn't offer subtitles! Based on a comic created in 1965 and the subject of film and a television series - Lastik Man originally was an alien from another planet who came to Earth and fought crime in the Philippines (More often than not, Manila). In this version our young hero is beaten by loggers and left to die under a rubber tree. Tree goo oozes on him and he gains special powers. The movie opens with Lastikman standing on a roof. From this vantage point he saves a worker from falling, foils an attempted robbery and gets involved in a shootout. Wow, all that action on one street. Must be cool to be a hero that can do all his heroics from a single spot. Though I couldn't understand a thing that was said, Lastikman seems to have a lot of comedic elements. When the young man reveals his power to family/friends they try to forcibly stretch him out, and we later see him hug the tree that transformed him. The FX are okay, not brilliant but hell, even Hollywood (Mr. Fantastic) struggles with this effect. The costume is a silly checkered thing with a nice facemask. And the guy doesn't just stretch; he can turn himself into stuff, like a motorcycle with workable engine! The pacing of the film is fast; they get right to the action. There's a werewolf (?) and a Lastikwoman with nasty looking tentacles (No clue why she's so pissed at our hero though). There is also a romance, and by the looks of things, dates are fun when they're fun! Was it good? I'm not really sure, it was hard to tell and I wish Netflix would state right up front that this isn't subtitled or dubbed (Note to self: Always read the customer reviews first). The bummer is that there are many foreign superhero flicks offered on that site that suffer the same fate. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Originally Reviewed on December 11th 2007 Alan Moore has created some of the most innovative, brilliant comic books every seen. His idea for LXG was stunning, take these literary, Victorian characters and put them together to create the first superhero team. There's Mina Harkins as a female vampire, an invisible man (they couldn't get the rights for H.G. Welles character so they had to adapt a new version) Dr. Jeckyl and his counterpart Mr. Hyde and Dorian Grey. The film version featured a couple of outstanding actors, Sean Connery as Allan Quartermain and Naseeruddin Shah (who played the baddie in "Krrish) as Captain Nemo. so The League looked like it would be a slam dunk. But when I first saw this I was bored to tears. They smoothed out the rougher aspects, basically watering down Moore's original story and the whole thing came off as rather standard summer fare. With such rich source material, it's a crying shame; to take something so fresh and somehow make it stale. Would a second viewing change this impression? No, not very much. Oh there are nice touches, the introductions to each character is cool. I especially liked the hulking Mr. Hyde. And I dug the nods to other literary figures, Ishmael (Moby Dick) Poe's Rue Morgue and if you look quick you'll see paintings of past members (Zorro, Dr. Synn, Robin Hood, Natty Bumpo and the 3 Musketeers). But as it goes it really gets painfully dull. Tom Sawyer (not a major figure in the comic) was a bad choice to represent America and is only there to force tacked on romantic tension with Mina and a mentor angle with Quatermain that comes off hackneyed and only slows down an already ponderous script. And the final stretch isn't too thrilling, there's too much exposition and the dialog becomes melodramatic and silly. This was a great idea that was completely mangled by the filmmakers. There are few thrills, the character development is all over the map and too expansive. They needed to learn a lesson from Bryan Singer's X-Men and hone in on a few, carefully explored traits and then let chemistry take its course. There's little chemistry here and LXG becomes a predictable, unfocused snoozer. Lightspeed (Made for TV) Originally Reviewed on September 6th 2007 Editors Note: I watched and reviewed this with "Up, Up and Away" as part of a TV movie double header I've not been reviewing made for TV movies to keep this from getting too overwhelming, but I did catch a couple recently and thought I'd share my thoughts. Stan Lee's "Lightspeed", staring Jason Connery and Lee Majors is a slow paced mess. The flick has lots of confusing montages (There's an angry phone call -CUT to a funeral - CUT to the villains research facility being roped off) and hard to understand acting. And LOTS of silly contrivances (like how he gets the suit, and that "juice" he drinks to keep from passing out) it's so bad that if it was not so boring it would have been hilarious. The way Lightspeed runs is a riot; I mean it seriously is the funniest hero action I've ever seen. Not only couldn't they improve on the speed effect seen in the old Flash TV show, they actually made it look sillier! And Python, the villain, his rant at the end was so funny because his teeth implants make it hard to understand what he's saying but also makes him sound like Bill Murray in "Caddyshack". The fight scenes between the two are horrible - poorly staged, hard to follow and lack logic. Speed is pretty lame as a hero and a movie Lucky the Inscrutable Originally Reviewed on January 14th 2009 Filmed in confus-o-vision! More spy than superhero - Director Jess Franco (Castle of Fu Manchu) helms this tongue in cheek satire that's a combination of James Bond and Italian comic books (fumetti). The movie opens with a collection of scenes that only confounded me. Someone kills someone, then a woman dances while a baritone sings "Boom, Boom" and then there's a Mardi Gras style celebration where everyone is in costume. Only one man isn't in costume... well he is, but he isn't. He's Lucky the Inscrutable and the red cape, black suit suit emblazoned with yellow "L" on the chest is his true identity. After a few more deaths he is commissioned by a secret society to go, do, er something... I couldn't understand a thing that was being said - the movie is trying so hard to be wacky that it forgets that the audience might actually want to know what the hell is going on! Anyway, from what I could piece together, Lucky ditches his superhero uniform and goes after a counterfeit ring disguised as a regular guy (though everyone recognizes him still). Ray Danton (Secret Agent Super Dragon) stars and he brings his usual wooden charm. He's given a few funny lines, as when he encourages his sidekick to follow a woman -"Courage, courage, she's not so horrid if you ignore the little mustache!"- the rest of the cast act silly, sexy, hip, cool (as benifits the 60s) all of which is played out over a bouncy mod Bruno Nicolai score. The story skitters and flits about like an inebriated hummingbird. It's shooting for madcap and succeeds only marginally, winding up all told incoherent and unfocused, a B-movie version of Casino Royale '67. Eh, it might have been more fun had Lucky kept the mask and cape on. Back to top of page M M.A.N.T.I.S. Reviewed on March 5th 2009 In Jan 24th, 1994 Fox aired this 2 hour pilot (around 85 minutes sans commercials) - notable because it featured a black superhero (a first for TV). Directed by TV vet Eric Laneuville and written by Sam Hamm (Tim Burton's Batman) and Sam Raimi. It was a production of Raimi and Rob Tappert's and stared Carl Lumbly (Voiced J'onn J'onnz in the Justice League) as Dr. Mile Hawkins, a paraplegic who developed an exoskeleton called the "Mechanically Augmented Neuro-Transmitter Interactive System". This suit gave him the mobility to fight crime - with a weapon that paralyzed baddies to a complete stop! In traditional bat-form he had some helpful assistants and a cool vehicle, "The Chrysalides", which could fly as well as zip around underwater. The premise wasn't original (Back in 1977 there was a pilot titled "Exo-Man", about a paralyzed guy who fought crime in a suit of metal). The story offered the usual corrupt leaders; people who aren't all they seem and a mysterious figure (is he a hero or a villain?). But it also attempted to tackle deeper social issues within the African American community. This was refreshing but unfortunately when it when went to series 8 months later, Raimi and Hamm left over a difference of opinion with the network and many of the black characters where replaced. That's too bad, I liked these folks and the setting of the piece as it all gave a fresh angle to the usual comic book fare. The acting is first-rate. Gina Torres (Firefly) looking very young plays a medical examiner and Lumbly is outstanding and personable as the confident hero. Oh and Sam Raimi himself has an amusing cameo. The flying car special effects are primitive by today's standards, so bear that in mind and don't judge too harshly when you watch it. They were doing the best they could with what they had available to them. The score is good, probably because it borrows liberally from Bernard Hermann's "North by Northwest". The movie had its embarrassingly bad moments (the harebrained bit with the roller skating robbers), but it was still entertaining and miles better than the series, which made significant changes in cast and back story (Hamm and Raimi no longer had creative control of the character). Despite being the lead-in for the "X-Files" it was crushed by "Diagnosis Murder" and "Boy Meets World" and was gone after a year. Producers Raimi and Tappert would find greater TV success with Hercules and Xena while M.A.N.T.I.S. would be regulated to interesting curio status The Mask Originally Reviewed on September 21st, 2007 Jim Carrey stars as Stanley Ipkiss, a poor schlub for whom nothing goes right. Then he discovers a mask -that is attached in some way to Loki, a God of mischief- and his life takes on a whole new turn. The comic book on which this is based was very violent, dark and the holder of the mask was more like a villian, closer to an anti-hero if anything, who often met an untimely demise (Also the character was called "The Big Head", not Mask, as in the film). The movie version goes lighter and is actually a live action version of a Tex Avery cartoon. Carrey is perfect for this, he's a comedian who can and will go over the top at every opportunity. That proves grating to some (our own Mike Nelson for example) and he can push my tolerance-limits at times. Yet despite this dose of pure adrenaline, he manages to make me laugh. The guy was a great impressionist when he started off in comedy and he displays this skill nicely, doing a spot on Clint Eastwood and Edward G. Robinson (to name only two). But there's also some tenderness in the actor, something of the regular Joe that propels him from a one-dimensional ham (ala Pauly Shore) and into someone you can root for. This served him well in the Truman Show and even Dumb and Dumber (note the early scene where he longs for something better in his life) and it's the Ipkiss character that I liked best in this film, even more so than his costumed counterpart. Cameron Diaz joins in as the love interest in her first major role. I never found Diaz to be anything special, either as an actress or sex symbol. But she's pleasant here and looks better than she ever has, so it's not a stretch when the Mask turns into a lusting howling wolf and Stanley loses his heart to her. The rest of the cast is fine, including Richard Jeni (who committed suicide not long ago) as the superficial best friend. Though I found Peter Reigert's oft-annoyed cop kind of irritating. The storyline, concerning mobsters who take notice of Ipkiss and the Mask is fluff, but it moves well and rarely lags or becomes boring. The truth is that the film rests on Carrey's shoulders and he carries it nicely. Despite having a low, low budget, they did a serviceable job on the FX (hell, the stretching during the dance was more convincing than that seen in "Rise of the Surfer"). "Cuban Pete" is an old school style Hollywood musical dance number that enchants me ever time I see it. The bit with Stanley at the office of a writer (played by Ben Stein) is a kick, with Jim trying to force the transformation to prove his point. I loved Milo the pup. The segment where he steals some keys (cheese?) delights simply for watching the dog play off the actors. When he stares at the sleeping cop with caution, it's as if the mutt understands everything. I also like how everyone is nonplused about the abilities and look of the Mask. As if a green faced fireplug that can defy the laws of physics, is par for the course. Everybody is so matter of fact and that runs counter to the looks of awe and disbelief found in other super hero movies. The Mask isn't deep. It's cotton candy for the brain. But Jim Carrey brings enough heart to Ipkiss and enough inspired madness to the Mask so that overall, it works like magic. The Masked Prosecutor Reviewed on March 25th 2009 Director Herman Yau tells the story of a trench coat wearing vigilante who emerges from the shadows, kidnaps criminals that were set free due to a faulty justice system. Canes 'em and leaves them outside of the Police precinct. After 3 of these events a veteran cop named Guy and his new supervisor, Wah, an overzealous cop as well as a practitioner of Hinduism, are teamed up to solve the case and discover the identity of the man behind the mask. Prosecutor doesn't break new ground but tells an interesting, snaking tale that has a bit of humor (some of that doesn't always fit well) and a lot of deeply felt, well thought out drama which makes it more than simply a Hong Kong version of the Punisher. The acting is good, the character's well written. Brooding Louis Koo plays the Masked Prosecutor as a haunted, damaged figure, he is countered by Guy (Blackie Ko), who just wants to retire and have a quiet life and Detective Wah, nicely played by Jordan Chan who is a determined and clever man. Wah suspects that Guy knows more than he's telling and the connection makes for a compelling well-rounded tale. Though the English subtitles are riddled with horrid, I mean horrid translations, it didn't keep me from becoming invested in the fates of the people. The theme of moral codes and loyalties add texture. I liked the ominous score and visually there's this bit where the Prosecutor's mask shifts and changes during his fights, I don't know how or why this was done but it looks cool. I've never seen a Herman Yau film before, but this was well made, intense and it finishes up with a strong, emotionally charged ending. Not a pure superhero film but well worth my 93 minute investment. Masked Rider the First Originally Reviewed: October 8th 2007 Based on a long running TV show and Manga series, Masked, or Kamen Rider as he's known in Japan is very pretty to look at, but also plays a bit like a soap opera. The story is this: A murderous gang of cyborgs known as "The Shockers" snatch our mild mannered hero and turn him into a cyborg named Masked Rider. While out on an assignment a snowflake strikes his noggin, which sparks a memory. Rider turns against the Shockers. Who then make another Masked Rider to stop the first. But when this plan also backfires, they just say F it, lets stop making Masked Riders and get rid of both of them using snakes! I liked Masked Rider when it's not brooding so much and gets down to business. It really is a tale of two movies. On the one hand it is a riot of cheesy martial art goodness. The Rider has this cool grasshopper helmet/faceplate, and he wears a kitschy scarf too. There are 3 leader types in The Shockers; the main guy looks like the Japanese version of Count Floyd. I mean it's pretty harebrained but quite a well made adventure too. The insect/animal inspired costumes are cool and it was obvious some effort was thrown at them. A fight from a motorcycle suffers from too many quick edits, but overall bristles with speed and grace, I mean its badass! One the other hand the storyline plays it straight. There's a lot of drama, romance, tears and introspection. I like that the filmmakers didn't mine the obvious and inherent goof factor. But it often gets heavy-handed and too talky. To quote Inspector Sledge Hammer, "Enough warmth" lets get to the action. This was good but could have been so much better had it focused at least a little more on the colorful cyborgs. There was the Hopper, the Spider, The Bat and in an odd, out of the blue sub plot, two sick kids from the hospital that become Snake and Cobra (which it is later revealed, was told in flashback). The look of these figures was very slick and I wanted more of them! Some fans of the series have expressed disappointment in changes that were made, while newbies like me, I've read- will not fully appreciate the back and forth exchanges between the two Riders due to a lack of familiarity on their history. http://mightyjackmst.com/superpix/megamind.jpg Megamind Reviewed on November 14th 2010 Lets face it, the superhero archetype has been poked and prodded and parodied to death (From Hancock to Kick-Ass and beyond), so I didn't go into this film hoping for anything spectacularly original. Give me a few laughs, some light popcorn entertainment and I'll be happy. What I didn't expect was how fresh and exciting the story would be. It's fun, but thoughtful as well. And it proves you can do parody without the cutting edge of cynicism darkening the mood. The movie starts off with a rather Superman like origin story, narrated from the perspective of the bulbous headed villain, named Megamind. In this telling, 2 infants from doomed planets are sent to Earth. And in MMs mind, destiny plays its hand: As one infant winds up with a life of privilege and grows up to become a beloved hero (Metro Man), while other (our title character) crash-lands in a prison and takes the road of the villain. Inevitably, the two square off -numerous times- with the bad guy winding up on the losing end of the stick on every occasion. That is, until... somehow, the blue skinned baddie manages to defeat his longtime foe! Life is a great, at first. But when he gets bored with the sweet smell of success (and discovers that his identity and self worth is tied into matching wits with a hero), MM decides to create a new costumed crime fighter (that he names Titan) to liven things up. And liven thing up he does, but in ways Megamind never expected. Titan feels it's better to do whatever you want, no matter who gets hurt, rather than play by the rules - and soon it is up to Mega to don the mantle of hero and set things right. The film treads on familiar territory, as you would expect with a tale of this type. And yet it works and didn't come off trite. It has fun with the clichés, while the underlying theme of destiny (or self fulfilling prophecy) vs. choice is given its due and isn't treated like a hack plot device. It also helps that it is stocked with interesting, well-developed characters. Giving voice to our evil genius is Will Ferrell. He delivers the braggadocio, but also makes Megamind a sympathetic figure we can root for. Underneath all that black leather is basically a decent guy. Will usually plies his craft with broad –and at times irritating- brush strokes. But here he doesn't go too over the top and finds the right-mix of excitement and exasperation throughout. The character also has the funny quirk of mispronouncing words, and a cute gimmick that allows him to change his identity –the most amusing- a Brando-esque father figure who mentors Titan. Also quite likeable and a good source of humor is his 'fish in a bowl' sidekick, Minion (David Cross). Though Tina Fey wasn't as funny as she normally is, she's rock solid as intrepid reporter Roxanne Ritchi, a levelheaded type who stands at the center of the story. Rounding out the cast is Brad Pitt in a smaller (but enjoyable) role as the golden hero Metro Man. And last but not least is Jonah Hill. Hill (Get Him to the Greek) is an actor who frequently annoys me to no end, but that works in his favor this time out. And he shows his range as a vocal performer when his Titan transforms from dweeb to downright scary when he goes off his rocker with murder in his eyes. The animation was stellar; the costume design and facial expressions were effectively rendered. And it looked sharp in 3D. The details and depth of field offered up some brilliant looking eye candy (though it doesn't 'reach out' into the audience as much as it should). The soaring flight scenes and epic battles were breathtaking. In one sequence, Titan wields a tower like a bat - accidentally swiping the edge off a building, before throwing it at his opponents - and it all looks bigger than life and is as awesome as anything offered in your bloated budget Hollywood action flicks. While it looks good, it's a well-told story that is needed to hold my interest. And in that regard the movie succeeds. Though it treads on familiar (and sometimes predictable) ground, there is more to Megamind than meets the eye. Mercury Man Reviewed on February 20th 2009 Mercury Man is a movie that plays like a textbook. This is Thailand's first foray into the world of the Superhero and they draw a lot from their American counterparts. Spider-Man is referenced many times, and like the Hulk, our hero's power manifests when he gets excited. The story concerns a terrorist who hates the U.S.A, President Bush and it seems, the Yankees, because soldiers were involved with the death of his sister (damn that Steinbrenner!) This terrorist needs to get a hold of two amulets that will give him ultimate power. He has the Moon amulet, but the Sun amulet was lost, absorbed into the body of an impetuous firefighter. This firefighter trains with the female protector of the relics and soon becomes the hero Mercury Man. Setting up the inevitable meeting of the two. Mercury Man is very contrived and instead of allowing its story to unfold, it spends most of its time on lengthy exposition. There are so many scenes of people explaining things that it might as well have been a book on tape. At one point a cartoon figure actually pops in and teaches us the history of the amulet! Yee gads; didn't the director realize this is a medium for the eyes as well as the ears? He could have brushed upon and inferred this information without all the tiny excruciating details spoken to us as if we were in a classroom. In a motion picture - show, don't just tell, please. While it seems there was some money put into this production, the pacing is awkward and stiff (especially in scenes with the grandmother). The villains speak English often and poorly; I don't know why that was done. When it does finally throw in some action, it's a mixed bag. The CGI is weak and it distracts at times, on the other hand we see some of that Thai fighting style (elbows on the skull). There's a good fight at a club but the final battle between fire and ice was anticlimactic and at the end the terrorist talks and talks and... for Gods sake I wish he'd have just shut up. Metal Man Originally Reviewed on September 13th 2010 If Peter Parker and Tony Stark had a baby... well, they'd have produced something better than this turkey. The story concerns an awkward teen named Kyle who interns for Dr. Blake, a bio engineer that has invented an Iron Man style suit. Kyle later becomes encased in the suit and does battle with the arms dealer who murdered Blake. Released in 2008 as "Iron Hero", this cheap looking production comes off like a fan film… only much, much worse. It's talky and the camera lingers too long on its actors, who often just stand there, expressionless. Reggie Bannister (the pony tail guy from Phantasm) is the biggest name in the cast, but he is no better a performer than the rest (Leah Grimsson is also named on the DVD cover, her claim to fame (?) is the film "Polanski"). The sets are good for a laugh, ala the bad guys living room, which is decorated like a French whorehouse. The suit is okay, but paint is chipping off of it. Director Ron Karkoska –whose previous film work was with the special effects and makeup departments- makes Coleman Francis look like genius by comparison. Think you know bad? This is worse. Meteor Man Originally Reviewed on September 21st 2006 The Meteor Man is categorized as a comedy but it's the weakest assed comedy I've ever watched. Robert Townsend, once filmdom's independent media darling, has seen his artistic voice descended into pabulum. He plays a man who lives in a bad neighborhood but is too afraid to do anything about it. One day he is struck by a meteor and is given great powers, such as the ability to talk to his dog. Ah Ha, Ha, Ha... oh for dumb! The movie has an all-star cast; James Earl Jones, Don Cheadle and Bill Cosby are all present for the dullness. The movie isn't funny in the least and its message of community responsibility is so preachy, so heavy-handed and cornball that I about choked to death on the earnestness. Even "Steel" didn't become this sanctimonious. The direction and screenplay is disjointed and doesn't flow well, the SFX are weak and it's just plain boring. Mirageman Reviewed on May 25th 2010 This 2007 Chilean superflick was written and directed by hot indie film maker, Ernesto Diaz Espinioza and stars the Latin dragon, Marko Zaror. Marko plays Maco, a young man with a tragic past who works as a bouncer at a strip club. One night he stumbles onto a crime in progress, slips a mask over his face and thwarts an attack on a local newscaster. The newscaster turns him into a hero (though her motives are not all together altruistic), and in a scene echoed in Kick-Ass -where the hero sets up shop on Mypsace- Maco creates an email account in order to field requests for help. Unfortunately his mailbox is mostly filled with crackpot requests. Including one from a man calling himself "Pseudo-Robin" who desires to be the Mirageman’s sidekick. As with other -regular folk as crime fighter- flicks such as "Special" and "Defendor", Mirageman wasn't fashioned as comedy, though there are laughs aplenty. Especially at the beginning: Apart from the hilariously inept Pseudo-Robin, there’s a bit where we see the new hero chase a purse-snatcher. Maco quickly stops to change in to his uniform, which takes time, a lot more time that we see in the pages of the comics, and when he returns after the battle... someone has stolen his regular clothes! Also, like "Special" and "Defendor", Mirage takes a dark turn as it heads towards the finish line. Because, while Maco is a proficient martial artist, he's fighting nasty hardened criminals - and as we soon learn, even heroes lose. In one tone-shifting scene, Mirageman takes on a gang who has abducted a child, and he is beaten so badly at their hands that his blood leaks through his mask. I've never seen this done before, and it was effective. Though we can’t see his mashed up face (at first) we know the consequences of playing the hero are brutal, as his mask becomes soaked in spreading blotches of red. Brutal describes the fights in general. Zaror is very tall with a sturdy build. Though he works in a few back flips, he doesn't really do a lot of fancy acrobatics; it's mostly straight ahead kicks and punches. The battles he engages in feel real (though the baddies unrealistically often drop from a single blow) and are quick and compact. The blows land solidly, with an audible thud. Though the Foley is not exaggerated (you wont hear paddles slapped on meat), it sounds as painful as it looks. Mirageman isn't without flaws. It's emotionally distant, I didn't get all that attached to the protagonist. There are gaping holes in the plot; the kidnapped little girl scenario makes no sense. A cop brings in our masked vigilante to help because he says the police have no proof and can't make a move on the villains... and yet that cop has seen the child, even offers a detailed map to her location. What other proof is needed? And after Maco's failed rescue attempt, they still make no attempt to raid the premises? There is no sense of urgency concerning the girl's plight, there's no clarity or back-story on the baddies motivations, and that makes them weightless. We see a mean looking guy leading the gang (or "Network" as they are called). But who is he, why is he? And why should I fear him? Allowing for these great lapses, the movie does offer lots of bone crunching martial arts action and managed to entertain. At 84 minutes it doesn't waste time farting around (though another 10 minutes spent fleshing out the evil doers would have been nice). The story, while superficial, throws in a mix of humor and pathos (Maco has an emotional scared brother who is institutionalized). In total Mirageman was a fair, mid-range crime fighter flick, worth hunting down for fans of martial arts. Mosaic Originally Reviewed on Juanuary 8th 2009 During the "Marvel Age" Stan Lee was responsible for creating some of the greatest characters in comic book history but since then he's lent his name to such lame productions as Lightspeed and Stripperella. His late in life reputation doesn't get a boost with his POW! entertainment direct to DVD releases, Condor and Mosaic. I've been told that Mosaic was the better of the two and if this is true then Condor must have been an unholy nightmare because Mosaic is a weak, hackneyed Spider-Man rehash. (Note: I've since watched and reviewed "The Condor") Anna "Rogue" Paquin gives voice to a young woman named Maggie who gains the powers of an ancient race of Chameleon people after she comes in contact with a rune stone. This eventually leads Maggie and her chameleon mentor (Kirby Morrow) on a quest to save her Interpol agent father and put and end to the plans of an evil Chameleon person. Scott Lobdell (X-Men) wrote a stupefying bad story, the screenplay is cringe worthy and it comes off sounding like the work of an old unhip guy trying too hard to write hip young dialog. It only serves to make the young lady here sound insipid. It doesn't help that the acting is overall dreadful. Even Oscar winner Paquin comes off sounding unnatural and silly, like she's simply running through her lines. (The girl she plays aspires to be a great actress, but lord she doesn't sound like she could pass an audition for a Coleman Francis flick) The animation is pedestrian, lower than a low-grade Saturday morning cartoon where movement is awkward, expressions bland and the colors, shadows not so pleasing to the eye. All in all this comes off very amateur hour. Nowhere near as great as DCs line of animated pictures, or even matching Marvel's bland attempts at direct to DVD releases. Mr. Freedom Originally Reviewed on January 15th 2009 The work of photographer and expatriate William Klein, Mr. Freedom has been described as the one of the most anti-American satires ever filmed. The superhero dressed in sporting gear, represents the U.S. as vapid, self absorbed, paranoid, wasteful, racist thugs who'll machine gun and bomb anyone who dares think and act differently than us. If that wasn't unpleasant enough the movie is loud, exaggerated and an exercise to sit through. Like watching a screaming, hyperactive kid have a tantrum for over an hour, it's bloody exhausting! The story tells the tale of Mr. Freedom (broad shouldered John Abbey) sent on a mission to save France from the influences of Red China Man (an inflatable dragon) and Mujick Man (Philippe Noiret). There is some talent in this film, among them Donald Pleasance as Dr. Freedom and noted French actress Delphine Seyrig as Marie-Madeleine are both good. Though for the most part the actors are sabotaged by a director who seems to have instructed - "The shriller, the better." While there are a few funny bits (Jesus stops by and gets flustered with Mary, "Mom, please") and clever jabs (The US Embassy is a super market) Klein is generally clumsy in regards to comedic timing, never quite hitting the punch lines dead center. And any political statement he was trying to make is drowned out and obscured by the chaos. Ultimately Mr. Freedom was an unsatisfying, and not very edifying viewing experience. Mystery Men Originally Reviewed on August 14th 2006 Mystery Men offers up a grade-A super hero comedy. But the laughs aren't derived from pulling the 'camp parody' trick (ala, TVs Batman) but by showing these characters as dead serious about their jobs. The Mystery Men are the B-Team, their powers are suspect and they are overshadowed by the cities greatest hero, Captain Amazing (played with wonderful smugness by Greg Kinnear). When "Amazing" is kidnapped by the evil Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush), the not so super heroes take it upon themselves to save the day. Mystery Men was directed by the guy who went on to make those Taco Bell dog commercials, and written by Neil Cuthbert, who is responsible for the wretched, "Hocus Pocus" and "Pluto Nash". How the heck this duo could create a comedy as funny as this seems to be a miracle, and I believe much of the credit for the success of the film goes to the great cast as well as the source material by Bob Burden. As Mr. Furious, Ben Stiller has never been better and Hank Azaria as the Blue Raja and William H. Macy (The Shoveller) always bring their A-Game. Top it off with Janeane Garofalo, Paul Ruebens, Wes Studi, Tom Waites and Louis Lasser (A hoot as Raja's mother) and it's one delightful performance after another. Damn funny comedy: The scene where the group holds a superhero try-out is bust-a-gut hilarious. And at the end, when the heroes come through as heroes, the screenplay shows us that it has some heart as well. My Super Ex Girlfriend Originally Reviewed on September 6th 2007 This flick had such a great premise, (spurned girlfriend has the power to really, seriously, make your life a living hell). Plus Ivan Reitman directed it. (Stripes, Ghost Busters). Man, I was sure this was gonna be a slam dunk! And then it wasn't. It fails in every possible way a movie can fail: It's a comedy that isn't very funny (and is loaded with infantile, cheap sex jokes), a romance that never touched the heart, with a hero that doesn't act very heroic what so ever. Luke Wilson and Anna Faris as friends and truehearted lovers are likable sorts, but the script doesn't give them anything to work with. Uma as the possessive and crazed G-Girl is so one dimensional and unlikable that I could never figure out why she did heroic deeds at all. With that personality she's more the villain type. I know she's the hurt ex, but flesh her out, give her some layers with some good, relatable qualities. She is, after all, suppose to be a hero and a deft script could have juggled the juxtaposition between her heroism and her jealous tantrums with hilarity. The story plods along, is never compelling in the least. Dialog is weak; Eddie Izzard as the baddie Professor Bedlam and Rainn Wilson (from the Office) are wasted. This is simply bad, bad, bad to the very core. What a blown opportunity. Back to top of page N Nick Fury Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Originally Reviewed on February 23rd 2009 If this were a song I'd call it discordant. Fury is a movie that dances between playing it straight and reveling in over the top ham with abandon. The Batman series in the 60s straddled that line with aplomb, but this is scattershot and unfocused. Still, the only way to gain any enjoyment from this piece is to view it under the lens of camp. The first 20 minutes were the most enjoyable, if it's possible to use that word in conjunction with this production. The story opens with Nick in a mine striking a wall with a pickax (why? It's a mystery), soon a few S.H.I.E.L.D. agents pop into bring him back on a troublesome case. What was neat about this first act was how it tapped into its comic book origins. Allies like Dum Dum Dugan (sans hat), Gabe and even Clay Quartermain are present (but no Squirrel Girl?), as are old foes such as Baron Von Strucker (and later Arim Zola). We also get a (Modified) Helicarrier, a psychic operative and an LMD (Life Model Decoy... though there is no mention of Tony Stark, who invented them). It was all very nostalgic and offered a brief whisper of promise for fun. Then we meet the main baddie, Viper, who is the daughter of Strucker. And "sweet blubbering bedlam" does this actress blow chunks! I've seen extreme performances before, but this is Samuel L. Jackson in the Spirit without talent, and unbelievably it's actually more over the top. Even in the spirit of spoof it's embarrassing to watch. The acting from the rest of the cast isn't as bad, but they all use the same broad strokes in approaching their roles. Lisa Rinna as Contessa Valentina Allegro de Fontaine -with puffy lips that could double as a floatation device- seems out of place and uncomfortable with the game. David Hasslehoff takes a lot of heat as Fury, but with that solid square head of his he looks the part. He plays it Adam West style straight faced, but underneath having a laugh with it all. Still, some of those one liners made me groan. David Goyer (Batman Begins, Blade) wrote this silly thing. Even though his intent was tongue in cheek, there are many an atrocious line ("You comic book coward!") And he pulls out every tired cliché in the book, even repeating a trite moment several times (such as variations on the line, "I don't need to be a psychic to know that"). The plotting and the pacing of the direction is equitable to a hiccup. It stops and starts, people wait around when they should just get to it. The picture never flows evenly and might be suffering from an identity crisis (camp or not, the soap opera stuff between Hasslehoff and Rinna doesn't fit). If you take it as a goof it's a somewhat passable time waster. Granted, even then it's bad and seeing a terrorist weapon pointed at the Twin Towers is uncomfortable in any situation. O Ophelia Learns to Swim Originally Reviewed on January 3rd 2008 Writer-director Jurgen Vsych's debut feature film is a Feminist Super Heroine eco-tale that gets in a few chuckles, but tries too hard to be clever and is heavy handed in its "girl power/anti corporation" message. This is an indie flick and it very, very low budget. That would be okay if the film had any cohesion. The cast is fine, chirpy, if a bit too enthusiastic. The idea is certainly worthy but the screenplay lacks focus and the humor is far too broad. The story tells the tale of Ophelia (Julia Lee from "Angel"). She's a superficial gal who loves the movie Titanic and is afraid of water. When her boorish brother steals a witches broom and refuses to return it, the Witch takes Ophelia as an apprentice and introduces her to several Super Heroines. Soon, Ophelia is subject to countless over done lectures from friends (The Chocolatier, Mother Nature) and foes (Bitch-on-Wheels, The Hag). The film attempts to offer up a message of empowerment and ecological responsibility, but it's executed in such a simplistic manner and riddled with one clichéd personality type after another that it gets tiresome quickly. It might have been cute had it been a little --- no, a lot more subtle. The doll was funny at least. Orgazmo Originally Reviewed on May 11th 2008 Crude humor parodies don't sit well with the critics, the recent "Superhero Movie" was savaged, "Blankman" was crushed, but there seems to be a 50/50 split with this one. I'm not sure why, other than South Park creator Trey Parker, who has been canonized as a comedy God by some, is the guy who wrote and directed it. But seriously there's nothing better or worse in any of these flicks. The humor is all about the same. It's crude, not all that inspired, but sometimes they all hit their marks dead center and provide a big laugh here or there. Orgazmo has a slim premise; Mormon gets a job in a (superhero based) porn film. The "fish out of water" jokes are pretty funny early on. You can't find more contrasting worlds and Parker mines the inherent humor dry. For example, whenever a character swears "Jesus!" The Mormon looks around a cries, "Where?" That's obvious but cute. Problems arise in that you can only stretch this one joke so far. Like most crude superhero parodies, the laughs begin to thin and by the end the jokes are played-out. Still there are times when it works and it's really not as offensive as it could have been (Though I'm sure many Mormon's wont be happy). Parker's "South Park" partner Matt Stone is there, making funny faces but not really doing or saying anything all that funny. Fat porn star Ron Jeremy has a small part and is involved in a humorous bit about exploitation at the end. Orgazmo and his sidekick Chodo Boy are a colorful pair, well played by actors - and when they don the uniforms in earnest and fight bad guys, it adds at least one more slim layer to the jokes (The Orgazmoraton and Hamster style memories were silly-stupid fun). There are laughs to be had, but seriously I don't see this as any better than the other 2 I listed and I probably (I think) like the Batman parody, Blankman, a little better. Back to top of page Links: Home * A-B * C-E * F-H * I-O * P-S * T-Z * the Superman Family * The Batcave * X-Movies * The Super-100