Reefer Madness:
     When this was first released I was in heaven, hearing Mike's voice again reminded me how much I missed MST. First things first. This isn't MST3K. There's no Tom, no Crow, no shadowrama. Mike doesn't go on a full out riff attack, this is more laid back, commentary style.
     Comparisons to his work with Mystery Science Theater are inevitable. In that regard there are moments when Mike shifts into MST mode and rolls out a riff that had me remembering the good old days -"And even though they don't exist yet; she wakes up craving Doritos"- And I admit that I did miss the interplay between Mike and his robot pals and sometimes, it seemed so did Mike. Poor guy probably would have liked to have had some interaction (after all, many commentaries include 2 or 3 folks).
     But make no mistake, Mike Nelson is one of the funniest human beings on this, and any other planet. He does just fine by himself. tackling "Reefer Madness" with that rich, visionary absurdity, which has always made him such a comedic treasure. Since it's release Mike has gone to bigger and better things and with MST-mates Bill and Kevin, has re-worked this one with even funnier material. Today this comes off quaint but not earth shattering.

Night of the Living Dead:
     No one is perfect, not even Mike. His timing, delivery and the jokes themselves are pretty weak here. And it doesn't help that he takes these bad jokes and runs with them. In the first 30 minutes he compares the zombie attack to normal life in Wisconsin... which isn't funny. But he makes things worse by making this comparison several times! Quips about a woman's wig or how fans of the movie refer to it NOTLD, aren't funny and don't get any funnier no matter how often he repeats it.
     The piece is filled with padding, ala the continual "Zombie drink mix" directions. Which is made worse when he misses a shot at a quip (when an obvious dummy gets whacked by a crowbar.) Out of that first half hour I only laughed twice: During a line about how zombie actor Bill Hinsman gets a ride, and one where Mike spots Jiminy Glick.
     The rest of the commentary is the same. Mike makes some accurate digs about cricket noise and how the movie is mostly about a guy nailing boards to the wall. But neither is really very humorous. And when he does find the target -as in his attacks on an angry guy with a smudge on his skull- he over does it. It's as if he didn't have much material to work with and was going to milk what he had until it ran bone dry. All in all a disappointing effort.

Carnival of Souls
Mike bounces back after his lackluster performance on NOTLD with a commentary that's funny and informative.
     Directed by the master of shorts -Herk Harvey- Carnival of Souls is a low budget cult film that plays like an episode of the Twilight Zone (well, a TZ with constant organ music that is). Herk actually does a decent job in his one foray into full length feature work. He really sells the isolation and the slow unravelling nightmare experienced by his lead character (played by Candace Hilligoss). The locales contribute to the eerie feeling (Saltair gave me the chills) and several scene transitions are well edited.
     There are weak spots, which are exposed with hilarious results. From the stiff non-acting -"Watch, this woman has a minor heart attack"- to the bad foley work. Mike is in top form through-out (though he does draw more laughs during the first half of the movie) as he deftly takes these defects to task.
     Another positive aspect to doing "Souls", are the connections with MST. Harvey directed many of the shorts seen on Mystery Science Theater and Mike peppers his commentary with reflection, trivia and humorous nods to the past that will make MSTies smile knowingly (Speaking of knowing smiles; Mike makes a sly reference to comments made by Kevin Murphy in "The Making of MST3K", concerning the size of Mr. Nelson's face -Kevin compared it to a meaty rolled roast-).

House On Haunted Hill:
"Is it alright if I'm her date to the morgue?"
     I have to admit to being a William Castle fan and always hoped that MST would cover one of his flicks, in particular, the delightfully silly House On Haunted Hill. Years after the cancellation of my favorite comedy I get the next best thing, a Mike Nelson commentary.
     Mike does pretty good with this one too. He's set the movie trivia aside and is going for what he knows best, riffing. Yup, HOHH is pelted with much more of the riff style humor than the previous 3 tracks Nelson's recorded for Legend.
     The opening bits are fun -then Mike settles down to a slower pace before revving up again and shooting off comments that provide one big laugh after another. When a character bumps his head in an empty room and a young gal meets up with 'Alice Cooper, I was in stitches and reminded of the great old days on the SOL. Mike even references TVs "Father Knows Best" and the "Thin Man" movies.
     I watched a bit of the colorization and it's about the same as the others. Only I think that showman Castle would have appreciated the effort, the garish purples and greens fit his style. At chapter 3 I switched over to the more comfy B&W, which also includes Mikes audio work.
     Mike Nelson meets William Castle. It's a dream come true for me and I while this will be improved upon as a Rifftrax offering, at the time this was a fun one that didn't disappoint.

Plan 9 From Outer Space:
Ed Wood's classic B movie gets the colorized treatment. And while I've never been a fan of the process, here –as with the William Castle release issued late in 2005- it fits. Vampira looks cool in color, Ed's cut rate space craft shines like chrome and when an alien is struck, his flesh turns a lovely shade of green. This version also includes the auction winners, the folks who bid to have their image or names blended into the flick. These additions add an extra layer of cheesy goodness, with the cherry atop this mixture being the commentary by mighty Mike Nelson.
     Nelson starts off razor sharp, lobbing hilarious quips that had me doubled over. But he soon tapers off. There are patches of silence, which disrupts the comedic flow and makes it a lesser effort all told. It's not that the narration interferes, as some would suppose. Mike has worked with denser narration on movies like Monster A-Go Go and Creeping Terror, and he's very funny poking fun at Criswell during the opening bits -- it's that he says little or nothing on a few scenes that beg for comment. Tor's breakout performance, which required that he actually speak a few sentences of dialog, is a riot and an easy target. But Mike doesn't level the comedic kill shot.
     I don't mean to say he isn't clever, he is. When a group of people sitting on a patio hear a noise, they don’t get up to investigate, but start staring intensely. This inspires Mike to suggest… ”Maybe if you look harder you'll hear something”.
     Mike also narrates the extra, "Plans 1 through 8", an amusing trifle which provided a smile or two. The extra I laughed at most was the faux deleted scenes. Mike isn't involved with these but they are rib ticklers and worth watching. The cover art is eye catching and the menus are a delight (Watch for a waving Mike). The limited autographed edition came with a saucer air freshener which was another nice cheesy touch.

Little Shop of Horrors
Corman's cult favorite receives the Legend/Nelson treatment: The end results? I didn't feel the colorization works as well here as it did with Haunted Hill and Plan 9 - Corman's sets are drab and even the color couldn't seem to brighten things up. Not only that, but the movie is a horror to sit through. I know it has its fans, but the forced wackiness just set my teeth to edge. The film strains to be humorous and fails on every level.
     Thankfully Mike's commentary provides a few laughs. For example: Mushnick sits down for dinner but has lost his appetite after witnessing Audrey (the Plants) eating habits. Mike cleverly admonishes... "He shouldn’t have ordered the Soylent Green". Before that he levels a richly deserved shot at Kevin Federline and taps into "Memoirs of a Geisha" for a laugh. Where Mike loses points is with the bad puns and some of the forced delivery (as when he's apologizing for a bad pun).
     The disc also includes a couple of silly extras. One which gives a lesson on killer plants, the other is a short film titled "Man Eating Plant", which was painfully dumb.

Rifftrax Complete: Swing Parade
"Wow, she's lucky. An old guy gave her fifty bucks and she gets to keep all her clothes on"
     Released in 2007 from Rifftrax: Imagine if during Season 3 of MST3K, the gang suddenly decided to throttle back and launch into KTMA style hijinx? That’s what kind of happens here as Swing Parade has much in common with the earlier, sparse commentary tracks Mike did for Legend film (and from what I've read, this is a holdover from those releases, which is why I'm including it here). And while I enjoyed those a lot, he’s since come a long way baby during the RiffTrax incarnation.
     The delivery is often laid back. Even to the degree that Mike sometimes sounds a sleep at the wheel – as he tackles this 1940s 3 Stooges musical (Though featured prominently on the box art, they are co-stars at best)
     Never the less, as with the KTMA eps of lore, and the legend colorization commentaries, there are genuine laughs to be enjoyed. The early running gag about a blind mule is as funny as anything in Mike’s growing catalog of humor. The mental image of Nelson and wife Bridget, worrying over their own mule, was a kick!
     In addition to that, Mike has fun with the Stooges (Spooning with Larry – A sexually charged Curly has seizures), a guy named Moose and a gal who never moves!
     Mocking the musical numbers put me in mind of similar scenes in “I Accuse My Parents” – Only the set design in this club must have costs somewhere in the millions (At least in the world of Rifftrax). Mike leaves no stone unturned or unriffed in these sequences: The lyrics (Caldonia), the giant immobilizing costumes (“Under her skirt she’s doing a killer dance routine”) as well as the oily, none too attractive, effeminate leading male singers.
     Though not a glowing success, there is enough good humor to keep “Swing Parade” from being a total train wreak.

The "Lord of the Rings" Series

LOTR 1: Fellowship of the Ring
Release Date: November 21, 2006
Riffers: Mike Nelson & Kevin Murphy
"Hobbits are essentially teenagers with huge feet" – Mike
     The group at MST3K was astronomically good at teasing films with narration (Monster A-Go Go, Creeping Terror, Attack USA) and that tradition is alive and well with rifftrax. The first 7 minutes where Mike and Kevin smart off to the voice-over, is drop dead uproarious. This was the perfect way to start off what would be a long and winding road.
     Fellowship is a lengthy and there are moments where it defeats the duo (That first half hour drags, with what amounts to endless scenes where Hobbits converse ad naseum on the Ring) But overall the two do well with their subject. The observational humor and quick witted punch line-like responses to the dialog are a joy.
     I dig this style of riffwork. It’s similar to what they did on "The Painted Hills" – Since the film isn't the worst or cheesiest (like a Manos, or Crossroads), they can't go into "attack" mode, so the jokes are mostly comprised of clever voice-overs -"I said big one, not the obscene one", quips Kevin when a couple of Hobbits steal a firework
     There are also some great pop culture references. Mike gets in a brilliant Robin Williams imitation and his "Fellowship Starting Line-up", -Magneto, Baby Face... was a gas. While Murphy uses Myspace, TVs "Lost" and the football flick "Rudy" for laughs. The Hobbits make for wonderful targets of humor -Frodo flunked Canoeing-, and we even are given a great Mothera imitation. Mike and Kevin seem to be having a blast poking fun at a movie they both like - and "fun" describes this project as a whole.

LOTR 2: Two Towers
Release Date: May 23, 2008
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"That's it boys, kick him right in the precious!" – Kevin
    I know it’s hailed as a classic, but for me this film was a chore to sit through. I just couldn’t take all the slow motion and heavy, overwrought dialog ("Free verse is tiring" – Mike). It took me 3 days to get through it and I felt the sting of every labored, slow moving minute. It wasn’t until the end, when the movie actually started to move that I was able to just sit back and enjoy the riffing without pause.
    Despite it taking me a while to get through it there are big laughs to be had. The reference material they used was stunning in its brilliance. From Bill noting Frodo’s emo-like attitude and actions ("Man, your harder to travel with than that diving bell butterfly guy") to the scene where the King is prevented from killing a foe and Mike observes that when Spiderman let a bad guy go, it all worked out fine (so there obviously will be no repercussion’s here. LMAO). Hildalgo, Little Mermaid and Steve Bartman/Cubs all provided ample laughs.
    As do scenes where they mock the script (Mike’s “Bloody Ink” poem) and skew the situations on screen (Bill saying, “He does need to work on his dismount” as a child falls exhausted from a horse). The running gags about Legolas looking like a girl are still as side splitting as they were in the “LOTR”.
    I felt the riffing got even stronger down the stretch - or maybe it was because the movie stopped boring me to tears. Whatever the cause, I laughed like mad and finally got to enjoy this Trax in full. The biggest guffaw for me was during the emotional, slow death of an Elf. I don’t know if it was the incongruity of the statement in light of what was going on, or the expression the character wore, but when Bill quips… My God, I lived my whole life without making a single fudge stripe cookie” I about died. I laughed so hard I had to rewind the disc because I missed the riffs that came after. I know it’s an old joke, but it fit perfectly and Bill delivery was spot on.
    So the movie taxed my precious patience to the breaking point, but I still found much to enjoy with the riffing.

LOTR 3: The Return of the King
Release Date: June 22, 2010
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Eat ghost, bitches!" - Bill
    As with the previous entries in the Rings saga, this is a film that takes several years to complete – "Return of the King" simply refuses to end and I found it nigh impossible to get through the Rifftrax in one sitting, Comedy wise, King follows suit with the last flick, as each has its extreme highs and lows.
    The riffing starts off nicely, then sinks with a few too many dumb quips (nipple hats? Eh, and you’ve already gone down that road during the "Goblet of Fire") and it roams along that path throughout –some beautiful roses nestled among a bed of thorns. The comedy works best when the guys lighten up the somber tone of the movie. Silly goodness includes Mike's Wayne Coyne impression, the Hobbits barbershop quartet, and upset Packer fans (still stinging over a loss to the Viikings). Or when Aragorn gives a rousing pre-battle speech to his outnumbered ‘men of the West'; to which Bill has a warrior ask... "I’m from back East, can I be excused?"

The "Matrix" Series

The Matrix
Release Date: October 25, 2006
Riffers: Mike Nelson & Kevin Murphy
"The Matrix is a worn out barber chair. Kind of a let down I know” - Mike
     Mike and Kevin slam the Matrix hard and if you’re a fan you might not enjoy hearing the duo proclaim this a stupid, stupid flick. But hey, it's all in fun and they do make some valid points while having a good time trying to figure out what exactly "The Matrix" is. Overall the riffing on this one is workman like, solid; lots of laughs, though not their most relentlessly hysterical. They hammer away at the same points: Making funny Mormon quips aimed at the agents, various observations on the liquidy nature of the film and its visual style. Of course, the ever wooden Keanu is keelhauled as well.
     This Trax also featured some riffing written by a fan, during a scene when Neo visits the Oracle. It’s some genuinely funny work and Legend should think about hiring a couple of home writers just to keep Mike (and Kevin) from getting burned out. Other treasures to be found include: Mike noticing that Johnny Cash, or Dieter, is on the attack (or at least someone dressed in black) - and his side splitting imitation of Burgess Meredith's Mickey from Rocky. Kevin makes a funny reference to the comedy "Office Space", which made me howl with laughter, and Reeves band Dogstar is used for a chuckle or two as well.

Matrix Reloaded
#6 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: February 19, 2008
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
“Excuse me, my head plug’s itchy!” - Kevin
    It's apparent from the start that the boys are in a playful mood. Silly ("No one wants a panic..." "Except for Joe, of Joe’s Panic Supplies" – Bill) and they often accompany another's quip with the sound of laughter. They are having a good time with this one and that mood is infectious, listening to this Trax made me feel good in kind.
    The movie takes its well-deserved lumps (Bill has a nice rant about the premise flying away on a jet pack) and the mocking tone of the jokes acts as a nice juxtaposition to the films self-importance (“A kid in a rented prom tux!” – Says Bill when Agent Smith shows up to confront Neo). The Agent Smith jokes are a riot overall, and the pop culture references are great… Sponge Bob, the Office Space bit, Nomi Malone (Ha, Ha, Ha!) David Cronenberg (his film "Crash") and as a Pixies fan I loved it when Kevin sang a little, "Where is my Mind".
    Though the bloated film taxes my patience, this is a very light and fun entry in the Rifftrax series and the only real disappointments I experienced was that there was no Mod Squad joke (there’s a guy named Link/Linc), No Future War references (The lead in that film plays an agent here –He fights Morpheus atop the truck). Oh, and one other thing, if you don’t listen to the intro closely you won’t get all the references to bacon.

Matrix Revolutions
Release Date: September 29, 2009
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"The only way to defeat the machines rests in the hands of... these... machines..." - Bill
    A finale I cared so little about it took Rifftrax to get me to watch it. This bloated, pretentious malarkey was more than I could stand. Even with our mighty riffers holding my hand. Mike sums up my sentiments perfectly during a scene where a character tells Neo that “"Karma is a word, like Love" and Nelson adds "...or Hogwash"
    MK&B did a stunning job on Reloaded and while they don’t reach those uproarious levels, they do hit high marks often. My laughter took a dip midway but then it got back on track down the stretch (Though the unfunny "leaning on the poles" gag was grating) - all told it is about on par with what was done on the first Matrix film. Bill spotting Morgan Freeman in drag is an early example of something that got a big laugh out of me. Mike and Kevin’s tag team commentary on the ‘jumping on the ceiling’ scene was another. Call backs to Moose Baby, Mike's impression of Rod Serling and pretty much every quip that points out the ever present nonsense found in this movie are a few examples of the goodies to be had.

The "Spider-Man" Series

Spider-Man
#23 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: October 9, 2007
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Give it up for the guy in the cherry red Diabolik get up!" – Bill
     One of the greatest superhero movies of all time serves as the backdrop for one of the greatest Rifftrax. The non-stop funny, spot on observational quipping is clever beyond compare. The puppet-like Willem Dafoe ("When you need a movie monster but can’t afford makeup"- Bill) inspires a wellspring of laughs. From noting that he sounds like he's doing a bad Tom Waits imitation to smart commentary on his Goblin outfit ("Satan attacked her on a jet ski!" – Bill). Had Dafoe been the brightest riff-star I’d have proclaimed this a success. But that the rest of the cast are equally assailed brilliantly propels this effort to instant classic status.
     Big laughs are had from the uproarious opening exchange between an angry Mike against his cohorts, derived from the Spiderman theme (Listen bud! He’s got radioactive blood!) Straight to the running gag about Peter Parker stalking Mary Jane. The word play is well written; I've always enjoyed a joke that is nicely phrased. As with Bill's line upon seeing a paint can after Peter failed to show up to help Ben with this chore... "Equal parts green paint and uncle tears"
     I also enjoyed the pop culture references: Mike sings Wayne Coyne. There's a quip about wild child Ruthie of "Real World" fame and a funny bit where Peter looks at his wrist and recalls a "Revenge of the Sith" based suicide attempt. The blue material fits and is funny, a couple of altered Spiderman themes are a gas and guys reliving High School trauma's during the wrestling scene provides yet another highlight to an all ‘round comedic masterpiece.

Spider-Man 2
Rifftrax Presents Release Date: September 5, 2008
Riffers: Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett & Josh Fruhlinger
"And now a pigeon craps on his head" - Bill after Peter's string of bad luck
     Wow, fresh off the failure of Ocean's 11, Rifftrax lobs this marginal offering in our laps, as the strongest Spider-Man movie receives the weakest riffing.
     Josh Fruhlinger, who writes a comic strip mocking blog, adds little to nothing here. During the operation scene he has a saw wielding Doctor command, "So chop him in half, pronto!" Ugh - and this is just one in a surplus of lame-o quips offered up by Josh, Kevin and Bill.
     Thankfully there is a sprinkling of the spectacular. MJ bashing was as fun as ever (and well deserved too I might add) and the scene where Otto puts on his demonstration at OsCorp provided some life. Later as Peter has dinner with Otto, and he and his wife grill Parker on his love life, Bill gets in a screamer -"My Summer Glau poster and I are pretty serious"- Corbett also gives up another 'Kids in the Hall' joke ("I'm crushing your head") and clever references to John Henry and Buster Keaton. But these funny pieces are sandwiched between some bland material.

Spider-Man 3
Release Date: April 8, 2008
Riffers: Mike Nelson & James Lileks
"Uh Oh, stiff wind must have hit Larry King" – James, as sand blows through the streets
    I’ve always been a James Lileks fan, ever since I stumbled upon his funny piece on the cheesy paintings of Art Frahm. A few years later when I read Mike’s first Pop Ink books, I thought how similar it was to much of Lileks pop culture comedy. And when Rifftrax was launched, the first name I thought of, as a perfect riff mate was James Lileks. Finally we see these two similar comedic minds on one project.
    A fellow Minnesotan, James can fall into doing these long rants, and we get a few of those here, but they never become obtrusive and for the most part he does a nice job riffing with Mike. He’s got a smooth, low key delivery and as with his work at the Institute of Cheer (see lileks.com) James has a great love for his pop culture past and his affection for Spiderman is well served on this project (BTW, if you read the “Little Big Books” article at his website (Again at the "Cheer" section) he riffs on some Spiderman comics)
    The two have fun pointing out some of the implausible moments -I also wondered how the cop made the entire tarp fly off after loosening one piece of rope- Kirsten Dunts’ big head and weak singing, the characters of Bernerd and Aunt May are uproarious sources for laughs and there’s a cute Dick Dale reference I liked. The riffing is laid back, there are a few more gaps than normal and the fart jokes are a constant presence, but it works and I'd recommend it.

The "Twilight" Series

Twilight
#4 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: April 21, 2009
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"He looks like the love child of Matthew Perry and Powder" – Bill on Edward
    Twilight is overflowing with pale teen angst. It's the perfect vehicle for a riffing and MK&B take full advantage of this fact. They zero in on the characters and never let up. There's excessively blinking Bella, who, as Kevin says, makes Sylvia Plath seem like Cyndi Lauper. And Edward the vampire, our riffers really have a blast with this guy. Mike compares his face to a hideous, effeminate, pale James Dean mask and Bill got me laughing when he notices Ed riffing on Christopher Walken.
    Among the many sharp observational quips there's a line about Biology being the only class in school and how the script is loaded with trembly, half spoken sentences. References were cute (Mike imitating the Father from "So I Married an Axe Murder" during the giant head scene). I could spend this entire review listing quotes... yes, it's that funny. In truth I found it to be the best trax of the year and one of my favorites from the Rifftrax catalog overall. The hours were filled with the sound of my hearty laughter, both from the silly film and the silly riffing. Highly recommended.

Twlight: New Moon
#3 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: March 19, 2010
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"He's doing his impression of the millions of boyfriends who had to sit through this movie – Mike
    New Moon was arguably one of the most anticipated Rifftrax in the history of Rifftrax. After all, Twilight was the stuff of legend, one of the classics. Who wouldn't want more of that comedic richness? I didn’t expect the sequel to match it. Primarily because I knew the breathless joy of discovery would be missing. I'm familiar with these characters ticks and mannerisms, as well as the way MK&B will skewer them. Despite this handicap, New Moon is freaking hilarious.
    The movie provides a few new twists to tease, such as Edward in vapor form and the addition of Dakota Fanning to the cast – each one inspiring sparkling quips. I also enjoyed the old standbys… "line?" (the way the guys tease the pauses at the end of the film is cute) and got a kick out of the fresh spin put on the old, "Does this bug you, I'm not touching you" bit. Our lead actors are prime riff material, I especially love Bill's jab at Bella after she takes a dip in the Ocean, and his singing "Casper the unhealthily co-dependant ghost", for Edward. Throw in some fun references (quoting Queen and Pee Wee Herman) and Rifftrax has themselves another gem.

Twilight: Eclipse
#14 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: December 3rd, 2010
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Werewolf humor, just a step above that of the Germans" - Mike
    Yay, it's Twilight time! Repetition can be the bane of the series trax, and as brilliant as the Twilight series is, it isn't immune to this. Some of the jokes (mocking Charlie's mustache to name one) aren't as fresh – but I can live with that, because -after a slow start- the guys get on a roll and hit it out of the park.
    Killer quips include Bill's line during a spiritual wolf campfire... ”Some call it whiskey but we call it magic” - or Mike's riff when Jacob gives Bella a hand made gift... ”I glued a keyring to an animal cracker”. And I can't forget Kevin, not when he gave voice to my new favorite quote... “I always knew infants were assholes!” And some of the repition still clicks (as when they point out Bella's inexplicible appeal to the men in this movie). While the movie doesn't have Edward in gaseous form, there is superhuman, human blood and a lame end battle to tease. Despite some repition I felt like I got my money’s worth. Yup, keep bringing on the vampires.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 1
#33 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: February 23rd, 2012
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Also, my Bible just burst into flame for some reason" – Bill as Preacher, during wedding vows
    While there are too many fart jokes and times when they simply yell and bitch about the movie. When they set their minds to quipping instead of complaining, there's plenty of funny to enjoy. Each film in this series has offered something freshly stupid – and here we get a wedding, a pregnancy and talking werewolves. But that's not all, there's one final delicious plot point near the end -involving Jacob- that is the end all, be all. While I'd rank this a distant 4th among the Twilight trax. It's still a highly enjoyable entry.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 2
#8 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: March 14th, 2013
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Line..." - One and all
    And the series ends with a bang! From the very start I was in stitches. Especially with the quips directed at digital baby, and Jacob's special bond to that youngster. And laughter is a guarantee with when you got Volturi. They are a camp comedy gold mine.
    One thing I appreciated with this release is that MK&B didn't overplay familiar jokes - only pulling them out at the most opportune time -- most hysterically with the epic "line" to end all "lines" near the end. Indeed, I'm going to miss this absurd series. From it Rifftrax created comedy that was comparable to what was had during the glory days of MST3K. Thankfully Stephenie Meyer's has kept to her scribbling and a new sci-fi flick titled The Host will hit theaters soon. So you're not out of the woods yet guys. I only hope it is as sweet as this run has been

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Release Date: August 18, 2006
Riffers: Mike Nelson & Kevin Murphy
     The third Rifftrax download reunited Mike with Kevin Murphy. At its release Trek V was well received, and the thought that other MST3K alumnus might soon be joining in the fun had forums buzzing. I remember what a joy it was to listen to this duo again - though sadly, I find their work hasn’t stood the test of time.
     Hearing it today, it sounds more like 2 grumpy guys throwing out angry insults (Chekov often raises their ire), rather than making brilliant observations and offering sparkling bon mots. Plus, they overdo the sex and fart jokes. Despite these complaints, there are occasions when the crankiness works and the teaming lives up to expectations. Their horror over Uhura’s dance was a larf (and would be referred to in future Trek Trax) as was those spoken when the group meets with God.
     Mike and Kevin slam Sulu and take every shot they could at Shatner. From hits directed at his heavy-handed direction, to his “Price-Line” commercial work. It was great to hear Kevin sing out a riff again (“Scotty wont you please take me home!”) So while Trek V isn’t their sharpest, it has its moments, and provided at least one all time classic: When Mike has Spock say, with calm Vulcan reserve... "Bull-sh**, Captain."

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Release Date: February 9, 2007
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
     Trek VI is a good film met with some planetary guffaws. As with Trek V, the George Takei imitations are exploited fully and are as fresh and funny as ever. Every one brought about gales of laughter. But there's more! From a quip about Spock googling a woman's skull during a mind meld, to Mikes joke about Kirk making out with green skinned girls. Sex was also a big topic here; I love the way Bill has Spock say -uncharacteristically- to a female Vulcan he's offered a drink to.... "Fire this back and lose the top". They they do slam the movie too hard ("Day After Tomorrow" didn't get slaps like this) but these three folks are magic and having them back together was incredible

Star Trek Generations
Release Date: July 2, 2007
Riffers: Mike Nelson & Kevin Murphy
"You know the prime directive of Star Trek should have been, never do comedy!" – Kevin
     Generations is a horrid, tedious film marked by some of the worst comedic writing and acting (Brent Spiner as Data) I've ever had the sad displeasure of witnessing. Thankfully Mike and Kevin are around to slap the film silly and make it somewhat palpable.
     While the riffing on the Trek franchise has been stellar, this time out there was a few bumps in the road. Perhaps this is because the Next Generation simply isn't as broad and colorful as the original crew. The riffing bears this out because the jokes level out in the middle spots, while the work sparkles in bookend segments featuring Kirk and company.
     The opening scenes are the best, providing an abundance of big laughs. The iconic characters are deftly riffed. Everyone is targeted smartly, each to his own unique personality type. Scotties girth (Macy’s Day Parade, he, he) Chekov is... well just Chekov (Crepe paper hair, ha!), even those great Sulu impressions are heard, despite George Takai's absence. And of course, skewering Shatner is always a riot. All of this and more make for the funniest moments on this Trax.
     When the film shifts to the new crew, the riffing slows down its relentless photon assaults and eases into a comfortable pace. Funny stuff is to be had – Primarily Kevin's clever and spot on observation concerning Warfs "hat jump". This is a brilliant piece of comedic diatribe that would do Bill Corbett proud. The Malcolm McDowell stuff –He’s an old Kiefer Sutherland- is a kick as well (as are the comparisons between he and Patrick Stewart as to which stellar English actor has taken the most hackneyed roles). And then of course, there’s Renee.
     The reference material is great from start (Ferris Beuller) to finish (Bill Cosby, Al Gore’s environmentalism) and the big (lame) finish is dull, anti climactic and is kept afloat only through Nelson and Murphy’s (and the ineffective Nexus') efforts. Without them, this ending would have made an effective sleeping pill).
     Though it's not the finest or most consistent Rifftrax available, and I do have questions on whether the Next Gen crew in general can inspire the big laughs the originals did (I need my Sulu voices!), I wouldn’t mind seeing another Trek in the future. With 2 great Trax and this good one, it’s well worth taking another shot

Star Trek The New Voyages: World Enough And Time
#18 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Rifftrax Presents Release Date: May 8, 2008
Riffers: Bill and Kevin
"It's really just a giant flying hot plate" - Kevin on the Enterprise
    Kevin and Bill team up and throttle a fan film, which stars George Takai and a few other Trek alumni. Sure it's probably mean to pick on such a production, but what the heck, the riffing is hilarious so in the immortal words of Joe Don Baker, "Go ahead on!" Of the 3 I watched tonight (Saw, I Am Legend) this was the brightest work. The riffers hit their stride right from the start when they tackle Takai (always a fun target) as Bill has him explain... "I'm not worried, I'm old!" and during the opening credits, the duo have fun with the introductory narration.
    The new actors also receive their shots but in a playful way. Kevin corrects the guy playing Kirk on the correct Shatnerian delivery of a line, Spock's eyebrow acting is noted and Scotty's not very Scottish accent is delightfully teased. This really was a fun, lighthearted 'trax. Oh, and Bill does a hilarious callback to Plan 9 From Outer Space ("You stupid, stupid humans!") This comes highly recommended.

Star Trek the New Voyages: To Serve all my Days
#29 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Rifftrax Presents Release Date: May 28, 2008
Riffers: Bill Corbett & Kevin Murphy
"It's Shatnerriffic!"
    Bill and Kevin tackle another fan made Star Trek flick and while it's not as grand a success as the first, there are still laughs a plenty. The last ep gave us the original Sulu, this one features Walter Koenig. It's pretty dull as there are many scenes of Chekov literally talking to himself. Riff highlights include Bill's first Captain's log entry (about dating grandma), an uproarious running Spockenstein gag. Mocking the medical instruments (A tube of lipstick and a slide whistle), Kirk's teeth trying to escape his face - Above them all are the funny jabs at the actor playing Scottie ("I've diverted power from my accent") and Kevin's superb impression of the Simpson's comic book nerd.
    The spacecraft related jokes are a laugh as well from the cute hat the Klingon ship wears to urinating vessels - and Bill's riff, "This thing has fewer controls than a garden hoe!" put me in stitches. Good stuff

Star Trek
Release Date: November 19, 2009
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
Notable riff is difficult to quote, it's the Shatner baby talk
     I was looking forward to this trax and revved myself up by watching Kevin & Bill's hilarious work on the fan made vids. The next day I popped this one on and awaited similar laughs... a half hour later I had this bad feeling. Aside from a couple of chuckles -cute Ty Pennington and Leonardo Dicaprio references- the jokes sunk like a led balloon. I waited with anticipation for the doctor with the goofy eyes to show up, I couldn't wait to hear what clever barbs they'd come up with during McCoys first appearance, yet these and other scenes were met with less than even passable material. And when the guys are reduced to lame barf jokes I threw up my hands and quit.
    Later on I tackled the next hour hoping that the trio could recover. I was rewarded with Spock farting in the Enterprise's space-elevator, so okay – that's how it's going to go. The download finished with a smattering of smiles and an occasional laugh at a cute reference (Bif Tannen's sports almanac), or the observational (Noting those times when Abram's forgets he's not making Star Wars). When I add it all up though, this was a bit of a let down - guess I should have lowered my expectations.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Release Date: April 12th, 2011
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Seriously, crack a Jeffries tube next time!" – Kevin as a stern looking Spock.
    Not their most inspired work, but not bad. Listening to this was like taking a lazy stroll, with an occasional sprint tossed in now and again. It opens with a spoiler exchange that doesn’t really work with a movie this old, and closes on unfunny bits about pon farr boners and Vulcan death dumps. Still, in between that, every now and again the silliness would click. A dig on Phil Collins, for example- might have been obvious, but what the heck, it made me laugh --- The funniest section for me, started with Spock and Bones quarreling about Genesis and continued to Khan's surprise attack on Enterprise --- it wasn't that the jokes got suddenly sharper, wiser or whatnot, but that they simply fit the moment to a T. So while I can't shovel heaps of praise on the download, it wasn't a train wreck by any means. Especially not when you got Kevin shouting to Kirk... "Stop pummeling your bastard!"

The "Star Wars" Series

Star Wars: Episode 1
#41 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: November 1, 2006
Riffers: Mike Nelson & Kevin Murphy
"So George Lucas is a 4 year old right? That’s the only explanation for what we just saw" - Kevin
     The kid gloves are off right from the opening sequence as Mike and Kevin gleefully blast the offensive stereotypical characters by making notably non-pc jokes -imitating the Japanese accents: "She crazy, she eat a Browfish for runch!" - Mike; call out the lack of logic -Kevin wonders why a holographic figure didn’t hologram himself into a room to make sure for himself that the Jedi were dead- and give a royal bitch-slap on the all the silly, childish names that infest this entire flick.
     ...and then there's Jar Jar (Who bugs Kevin’s soul). As Mike accurately observes -"10 minutes in, Lucas has already whizzed this movie away"- This flick is a disaster, a horrid, infantile mess; stuffed to the gills with dull negotiation and dinner scenes and acting so pathetic it sets my teeth on edge. The boy who plays Anakin is so wretched that Mike wonders if he was created by puppeteer, Frank Oz - and Kevin is suitably creeped out by the knowledge that this little kid and Natalie Portman will be… ”Humping like monkey’s” in the next film. EEEW!
     This is a bitingly funny rifftrax, but the biggest laugh came from the simplest, most straight forward quip. It’s when Jar Jar finally grates on Mike to the point where he simply shouts, ”Look, Go to Hell!”. It’s something we all, in our heart of hearts, have wanted to say to this entire movie.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Release Date: April 6, 2007
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Chad Vader
"Wow, Mike that was incredibly uninteresting. What else wont happen?" - Kevin
     Attack of the Clones offers more of the same kind of riff-work heard in episode 1: Mike and Kevin continue their assault on Lucas' childish, ham fisted techniques -"Ahh, the dialog crackles like... pudding" - Mike. The silly names (Schmee, Schmoo, Schmuppy) and stupid looking aliens (There are ones who look like a cow, a phallus and Satan) are all riffed well. As are the quips directed at the guy playing Anikin (Was it Lucas' desire to hire really crappy actors to play this part?)
     What was different this go round, was the addition of someone named "Chad Vader" - The whole Chad thing was clever: Though his contributions didn't tickle me early on; his comments improved as the film unfolded.
      The bits with Anikin made me laugh the most. The trio were especially good during the sequences where he returns home to save his mother. And I liked how they attack his broad, melodramatic and often childish manner -Anikin: "But I am grown up" - Mike: "Can I have a juice box?"- Also, I enjoyed most of the quips directed at Yoda during the final battles.
      In short: Though I'm getting a little tired of the duo's heavy reliance on fart and poop jokes (and what's with all the Arby's quips of late?), overall this was one heck of an enjoyable release. And for more with Chad, Mike and Kevin, check this out... Youtube

Star Wars Episode III
Release Date: September 25, 2009
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"You're right R2, it did look like a peep in a microwave" - Bill as Obi after Anikin burns
     One would think that the guys would be running out of material on this, their third attack on the Star Wars franchise. And yet, no matter how often I hear them make fun of the stupid names and silly costumes it never gets old (On the negative - what did get old where the comments about guys on the toilet!)
     Of particular enjoyment were the Yoda jokes and imitations. I really found myself cracking up during a meeting between the short green one and the future Mr. Vader. Also very funny were the jabs at the wrinkled, pompous old bad guy, and the running gag where they bleep out Samuel L. Jackson swearing out his dialog. Oh, and Bill makes this quip about a couple guys sitting in theater seats... beauty eh!
     I’m really, really sick to death of these movies. But I really, really have enjoyed the hammering they've received at the hands of Mike, Kevin and -joining them for the first time on a SW flick- Bill. Richly deserved knocks at the script, direction and acting are all nicely delivered. Though I feel this doesn't match the work on Episode I, it was still pretty darn good.

Star Wars Holiday Special
Release Date: December 10, 2007
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"It's a unique idea watching a farm animal open a present. I'm not sure I’d build a whole show around it, but it is unique" – Bill
    An insult to the intelligence of every human on the planet, this horrible, horrible TV special concerns Chewbacca trying to get home for Life Day. And its main purpose for being seems to be to humiliate anyone involved with the project. No actor gets out of this with his or her dignity intact.
    The riffing runs lukewarm with a few hot spots; as when Bill makes his clever observation that even comedian Rip Taylor would feel this special had gone overboard on the camp. It also hit comedy highs during the scenes when Chewbacca's grandpa is getting turned on while watching a music video, and after, during Carrie Fishers first appearance.
    When used, the reference material is varied and clever, from Phoebe Cates getting out of the pool to German mathematician David Hilbert's paradox of the Grand Hotel and a cute "don’t taze me bro!" Those were good, but some of the biggest guffaws I received was due to the fact that the guys actually get to quip on some old 70s commercials! Although I didn't find this Trax a rip roaring laugh riot, those moments of hilarity helped ease the pain of sitting through this idiotic special, and make it well worth watching.

Star Wars
Release Date: December 30, 2008
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
    The gang has done well with this franchise in the past, unfortunately the first, er, or is this the 4th? Proves to be their undoing. This simply isn't very funny to me. It's loaded with cheap and childish jokes and old material that's be done to death ("This reminds me of my family", etc - Funny but wearing thin here)
    I received a handful of laughs, about Luke's whining and R2D2's lack of flying to name two, and Bill gets the best line comparing the force to cosmic duct tape. There are some funny bits at the end, a few chuckles over a guy named Porkins and the medal ceremony was probably the best part of the entire 'trax. But it's overall weak, very weak.
    A week ago I watched a Star Wars iriff from a group calling themselves "Blame Society". It was no great shakes either and the folks there can't match the delivery and character of Mike, Bill and Kevin's voices. But even with their rather flat cadence the jokes for the Mos Eisley sequences were far better by comparison (The bit with Obi-Wan talking to the Storm Troopers, the Greedo as Koosh Ball head). But in truth neither version impressed. Bummer, I thought this film would translate into big laughs.

The Empire Strikes Back
Release Date: April 14, 2009
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett & Chad Vader
"So this is what Grover looks like when you shave him" – Bill on Yoda
    Star Wars: A New Hope was one of my least favorite trax, devoid of great wit the laughs were few. The follow up is significantly better. The trax starts off slow, with my first big laugh coming during the scene when sister kisses brother - and later when Chad Vader sings a happy bunny song. From then on I received several belly busters over the C3PO and Gilbert Godfried imitations - talk of suicide pills, man diapers and irritating bits of dialog (as when R2D2 slips into a bog and Luke cries out "Where are you?" Bill angrily offers, "Here's a wild guess... he’s in the water!!") Steady riffing was heard during the Empires first attack on the frozen planet. And Luke's training with Yoda was a non-stop scream as well.
    But then the riffing tails off at the end. The final 40 minutes wasn't a complete black hole, there were a few chuckles. But it seems Lando was no substitute for Yoda. In the end it wound up a decent, if uneven release.

Return of the Jedi
Release Date: January 22, 2010
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"The Hurt Locker as performed by the Build-a-Bear workshop" - Mike
And this closes Rifftrax visit to the live action Star Wars films. The first 3 were steadier and funnier than this past trio. With Jedi an inconsistent mix. It starts off slow, only tapping into the force on occasion. The Salacious Crumb and Jabba jokes were predictable, sometimes lowbrow and not my favorite kind of funny. These are countered by Yoda kicking the bucket and the Ewoks given a display of C3POs Godlike power, all earning laughs. There were some cute references: Brain Guy, James Bond's Blofeld (where’s my cat), Gaylord from the live Christmas show. And thankfully the trax finishes up strong with Teddy Bear quips and hilarious knocks on the retcon. So - slow start/superb down the stretch.

The "Harry Potter" Series

Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
Release Date: November 27, 2007
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Wow, chicken wings and corn. It's as magical as Boston market!" - Mike
    Potter is another magical trax, quick witted and rife with material that references past efforts, the Transformer/masterbation bit was great and I find "Bone Saw is reeeady!" funny as hell and could see it becoming the "Hi-Keeba" of this project.
    The "witchcraft as evil" jokes are a hoot and reflect the attitudes of a few critics of the books and movies. It was cute how both Mr. McFeely and the Fed Ex man are used for a larf (“Now eat my mail!” – Bill), the sorting hat sequence garnered some of the best comedy of the film (Mike’s imitation was priceless) and I was pleased as punch to hear the return of an old MST3K standby, the variation on the "Jim Henson’s Muppet Babies" gag. Though the first half is stronger than the second, all told I felt that Harry Potter was yet another triumph for Mike and the boys.

A couple of other big guffaws I received:
* "He is the walrus" – Kevin on Harry’s uncle.
* The line about being a 'grand' wizard!
* "This is a chop stick, Come on!" – Bill as Potter receives a wand
* "Why can't you be a hairy giant?" – Mike as Auntie to husband
* "That’s what you get for repeatedly over stating the obvious kid, all your friends disappear on you" – Mike,
* "Sylvia Plath take me away", when Hermione has a bad day
* And the mirror that shows a “Girls Next Door” marathon

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
#39 in Mighty Jack's Top 41
Release Date: August 5, 2008
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Man the crotch splinters! I have to get this thing sanded." - Bill on Harry's Broom
    The first stab at Potter was enjoyable. It slowed at the end, but was overall solid. The 2nd try is better, steady from start to finish. The work opens strong, I love John Lennon/Beatles quips and this one features a few knee slappers (Like the pic with John, Yoko and Sean). It then moves along at a brisk pace with magical quips popping up here and there. I liked the stuff about Mud Bloods ("Settle down muddy!" - Kevin to Hermione), and those directed at Kenneth Branagh's hammy, lipless acting. I also like how they point out the parts where adults stand by helpless as pupils are put into peril. Why the hell did Hagrid send Harry and Ron into a forest full of man-eating spiders?
    A few other moments I enjoyed were Mike's riffing on Kevin, a great Jiminy Glick impression and the end sequence with all the mad clapping. That was a great way to go out guys.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Release Date: December 16, 2008
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"I agreed to be in this movie, I never agreed to watch it!" - Kevin as Harry & Hermione spy on themselves
    The Potter franchise has inspired much mirth from our merry quipsters, but I fear they might be close to running this well dry. The problem is that they are starting to repeat themselves, aside from a few different characters, the same magical themes run through each film. For example, the frequent references to Satan have been beaten to death and yes; it is funny and odd how much danger these kids get into while the adults do little to nothing about it. But I've heard those jokes, several times now and they are losing their impact from the retelling.
    Apart from that there are still many bright spots. Having Lupin, Buckbeak and the Dementors around allows for a few fresh spins. I laughed while Professor Lupin spoke about Harry's mother and it was cute how Mike gets the Dementors mixed up with the Oompa Loompa's. There are nods to Brits like Steve Coogan and Tony Blair, and Mike does a bit of his VH1 Krisstofferson voice, which brought back pleasant memories of the "Band who sang California Lady" skit. Bill voiced some of the funniest lines, I enjoyed how he notices many of the silly bits (Lupin plays a record to accompany a scene) and when Harry shouts, Corbett observes that Potter just watched an Al Pacino film festival. So, despite a few complaints and worries, Azkaban makes for another fun 'trax.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Release Date: May 14, 2010
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"Man, the house is so whimsical I could fart rainbows" – Kevin
    The riffing on the Potter franchise has been pretty solid. This, their 4th try, starts off brilliantly, before it tapers off and hits some bumpy patches.
    On the plus: The clever material that taps into the films characteristics – such as the lack of respect Harry gets, despite saving the school several times –as well as the ridiculously dangerous situations they put these children into, all so they can win what Mike calls, "a bowling trophy"! In addition to that are the performers - I forgot that Robert "Twilight" Pattinson was in this; surprisingly the stuff they did on him was generally kind of m'eh (better was the "Happening" callback).
    There was some fun silliness ("I will now fight the big lady to the death" – Bill as Dumbledore) and the references were a joy: Dancing With the Stars, former Bengal's running back Ickey Woods, Bill's quip about Magic... and Larry Bird.. An old "Tootsie Pop" commercial, Irish jokes, Mike's nod to "Singing In The Rain" and a stained-glass window crying over Lady Gaga, all provides laughter.
    As you can see, there's plenty of hilarity to be enjoyed. Unfortunately it starts to sputter at about the 40-minute mark. Here they throw out a few idiotic 'Harry with an erection' jokes, and the material overall wasn't hitting my funny bone with as much frequency (Still, there are goodies, like Bill's, "She's a man, baby!") Goblet rebounds for the dance - and then ebbs and flows to the end. Overall though, I'd say the wonderful outweighs the weak on this release.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Release Date: February 15, 2011
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
    There's a lot of garbage littering this Rifftrax – Fudge packing and an overabundance of penis & ball jokes are to be had. So if you're an 11 year old, prepared to howl. However if your taste in humor aims higher than childish vulgarities, then you'll likely find this is as tough a slog as I.
    There are moments when the guys act their age and give me something quick and thoughtful ("Ha Ha, how narratively convenient that we’ve wound up in the same place" - Bill) and there’s a few funny bits with Groppy. But regrettably, they hit far too many sour notes with this release.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Release Date: October 18, 2011
Riffers: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett
"We have a girl who lives in a toilet..." - Bill as Dumbledore attempts to sell Tom Riddle on attending Hogwarts
    A good movie gets a cracking good riffing. The material here is smarter than what was had on the last Potter, and the guys are far less cranky and complaining than they were with Thor. The quipping engages the film smartly: Right out of the gate MK&B had me laughing over business speak, hand sniffers and wizard busking – as well as the inconsistent rules of magic and Hermione's inexplicable attraction for Ron.
    I've always been fond of germane and witty references, and Potter has some great ones: The Watchmen on casual Friday, Beatles album cover recreations, and I dug the Iggy Pop line (if you didn't know already, Iggy used to cut himself on stage). There's one hilarious allusion after another. Qwikster is brought up and during a psychedelic scene, Kevin wonders, "Did someone switch to the Ring when I wasn’t looking?"
    It's a long, slow brewing movie, which creates a challenge in filling the minutes with quality jokes. And while things do slow down a hair in the film's final moments - tally it all up and I believe the guys do a terrific job here. Very funny release