The Best of the Best of the Worst!
"Can you imagine a world without SHORTS!"
and now we turn our attention to the skits...
"You better have enjoyed these HOST SEGMENTS mister!"
Entire Episode: Starfighters, Pod People, Last of the Wild Horses and Daddy-O
Segments: The "Mike Sprite" in Squirm * "They Just Didn't Care" from Eye Creatures * "Steffi the Sitter" in Touch of Satan * Interpreting the "Jet Jaguar Song" from 'Zilla vs Megs * "Anti-Film Preservation" from Beast of Yucca Flats. * The "Twin Screw Universal Controller" from Fire Maidens * The "Charlie McCarthy Hearings" from Rocket Attack USA * "Magic Voice talks with the Narrator" in The Atomic Brain * "Joel imitates the 007 villain" in Operation Double 007 * "Michael Feinstein sings the Gamera theme" in Gamera vs Guiron
And the Coily for best Host Segment goes too...
Crows documentary on "Women" from "Hobgoblins" Of course!
"And don't forget the Invention Exchange!"
10) Electric bag Pipes (101 - Sol) 9) Cereal Novels (409 - Sol) 8) Good Luck Trolls (415 - Mads) 7) Chryo-Gyro (105 - Sol) 6) Wish Squisher (321 - Mads) 5) Tupperware to keep Morrissey fresh (403 - Mads) 4) Bobbin Buzzard (508 - Sol) 3) Evil Event Days (509 - Mads) 2) Instant Karma (502 - Sol) 1) Chinerwear (505 - Mads)
And the most inventive exchange of all...
Tragic Moments Figurines, presented by the Mads during show #405!
"SOOO! You don't think you need MUSIC do ya!"
"Hike Up Your Pants" - From Daddy-O
"Wild Rebels Cereal" - From Wild Rebels
"Idiot Control Now" from Pod People
"Slow the Plot Down" from Mighty Jack
"Sandy Frank" from Time of the Apes
"A Danger to Ourselves and Others" in Giant Leeches.
And the Coily is awarded to...
"Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
"Don't ever wish for a world without SMOKIN' HOT ACTRESS', don't even think it!"
Ismene in "Herc &/T Captive Women", Mila in "Cave Dweller", Captured Batgirl in "Wild, Wild World of Bat Woman", Col. Briteis in "Project Moonbase".
And Coilys Smokinest...
Nastenka in "Jack Frost"
"Why, without a BEST SIDEKICK, the world would fall into ruin!"
Tor Johnson as Lobo in "The Unearthly" & "Bride O/T Monster", Dropo in "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians", Mickey from the "Screaming Skull".
And Coily's top kick in the side is...
Torgo from "Manos"
"Noo BEST SPEECH, He, He!"
Peter Graves moral of the story in "It Conquered the World" was great, but Coilys Favorite was...
Some space guy talking about the 'Brightest and the Best' in "Phantom Planet"
MOST MISUNDERSTOOD, "Boing!"
Worm Face Guy in "Squirm", Valeria in "Robot Holocaust", Blond girl in "Werewolf"
And the winner is...
The cast of Killer Shrews
"It goes against my nature, but here's the FINEST FASHIONS"
"Attack of the the Eye Creatures" for leading ladies hair-doo and the "Where's Waldo" nightdress worn by the wacky drifter
"I'll take you up on that wish Mr! Here's the MOST DISGUSTING!"
Eegahs Tongue, the shaving scene in general And the most disgusting thing Coily's ever seen?
Mr. Crenshaw and his little creature in "Boggy Creek" Ahhhh, I'm blind!
"And you promise never to take BEST PERFORMANCE BY A CAT for granted again?"
Puma in "Ring of Terror" * Xerxes from "Atomic Brain" * Neutron in "This Island Earth".
And the award goes to:
Stuffed Kitty who slept with Ann-Margret in "Kitten With A Whip"
"Best Guest Appearance!"
Winky from "Manhunt in Space", Glen Manning from the "Amazing Colossal Man", Mothera from "'Zilla vs Sea Monster", Santa battles Satan from "Santa Claus", Kenny & Helen from "Gamera vs Zigra", Jack Perkins from "Fugitive Alien", Torgo (any ep),
and the Best Guest is...
Hugh Beaumont From "Lost Continent"
"Best MSTed Product, He, He (whistle-boing!)!"
Wild Rebels Cereal - Satan's Jockstrap Mace Mousse from Teenage Crimewave - Mighty Jack Dog Food - Johnny Longtorso: The Toy That Comes in Pieces from Monster A-Go-Go - Bittersweet Hearts from Warrior of the Lost World - Nelson Cigarettes from The Dead Talk Back
And the best MSTed product is....
Ricochet BOLD BBQ sauce! from "The Starfighters".
More Coily's That Spring To Mind...
Best Original Song: "Moon Zero Two"